London: talk with the stranger.

I found my way to the bus stop from from the terminal.

Here's the thing about strangers. Some are just so nice and clicked with you just that way. I felt welcomed talking to her about places and such. She sees the world by travelling. That's the whole point of this whole visit, really. To broaden my mind and to see things clearer. To change few perspectives maybe.

Off the bus left for Poole.

So here i am, waiting, for another 20 minutes for my bus. Trust me, its so damn exciting when you are alone in a foreign country. I cannot wait to peel you off UK.

"Opportunities dont come so often. Once they are there, make sure you take them".

London: the journey begins

Hi. Im blogging from thousand feets above the ground. I've been in the air for more than 11 hours now. An hour to go before, hello London.

While doing nothing just now, or maybe between browsing through movie selection or making trips to the lavotory i came out with an idea that i have (must) write daily about my experience while my stay in the uk. InsyaAllah. Knowing the lazy side of me, if i were to wait till i reach home, then you know that'll never been into words.

Ive been watching the fourth movie till now. Been sleeping for hours. Gosh,London is so far far away land! Till then!

Perempuan dan emosi

Perempuan.

Ada satu masa rasa macam nak telan semua. Meatball 40 biji pun boleh habis. Orang yang dia sayang rasa macam nak simpan dalam handbag bawak ke sana ke mari.

Tak relevan.

Funny. Sebab bila tiba masa itu, bila perasaan insecure dan bercelaru datang bertimpa-timpa, buntu jadinya.
Ada yang sanggup tengok movie yang sama kali ke3. Di platinum suites pulak tu. First time for everything.lepas ni akan fikir 100 kali untuk try lagi.

Walaupun hari ni kualitinya macam entah apa2, takut nak menjawab depan tuhan nanti, insyaAllah esok masih ada.

Dan, jarak yang aku cipta antara kita tu, terima kasih sebab kau mengerti. Tuhan saja yang boleh balas baik budi.

Hello Thursday

Stumble.

I am waiting for maybank to open. It's 944 in the morning already and i have lots of tedious stuff that i need to settle before venturing into holiday mode for 2 weeks. I think this is the longest annual leave i've taken so far since day 1 i started doing what i am doing now.

Let it remains unknown for the time being because the memories have yet to be moulded and i will definitely convey the tell tales in 20 days.

I have wstched fast and furious 6 twice already. The number might increase if we manage to secure tickets for gold class tonight. It's just freaking good. So good and i cant barely remember when was the last time i watch a movie that good.

I dont do the movie justice by my writing. Just have faith that it is good please. Will update later.

Mwahhhhxxx

Soaring high eagles

It all started 6 years ago. With a simple introduction from each and every of us that lead to campfire by the beach till wee hours, late night talks about life, die hard movie; we turned out to bond just like that.

And after 6 years, its still wondering me how in those 3 days, we actually found a friendship which the one that does not require constantly communication but when we meet once in a while, you know what to say, just click that way.

As for me, thats the beauty of it. A dream-like.

Soaring high eagles. Soar way way up higher.

Dont judge a book by its cover.

Dia gelak ketawa bersama teman teman. Mungkin ada yang memandang macam entah apa apa, tapi mana tahu orang yang kita rasa entah apa apa itu menangis dalam sujud waktu tahajjudnya.

Dia macam cool saja. Pakai tshirt jeans biasa, tak ada kopiah atas kepala.Tapi mana tahu quran tu tak pernah ditinggalnya. Hari hari dibaca.

Few events that occured recently have opened my eyes (maybe my heart too) indirectly. Dont judge a book by its cover, and i, dont have the single right to do that.

For me, for you.

Hot head, cold feet.

Kaki sejuk. Kepala panas.
Apa tandanya? Yes demam bakal melanda.

Ya Allah, tolong jauhkan demam itu please.

Lebih kurang lagi 8 kali putaran bumi, aku sampai ke satu destinasi hati. InsyaAllah. Nervous?

Yeap.

Kenapa?

Sebab itu semua pernah jadi satu mimpi,satu fantasi di malam hari. Masa menonton cinta antara benua, masa menonton letters to juliet masa menonton Lizzie McGuire.

Sesungguhnya, dari hati yang paling dalam saya sukakan kejutan. Really. Apa yang mulanya dirancang Disember, June datang menyapa dahulu. Subhanallah.

Belum lagi.

1. Capturing me jumping on helideck.
2. Watching sunrise and sunset, with vast big wide ocean in front of me. ( preferably with the ones that matter)
3. Wearing the yellow coverall, hands covered with muds, sweating.

For now, that is the list. I shall update you more.

Oh ya, doakan.

Something borrowed.

It's weird on thinking how you can miss something that is in front of you? How we can just let the time passes without fulfilling it with the worth thoughts or words or action.

Like now.

Having the presentation on economics, something about regulatory milestones; which my mind hard to absorb.

The thing is, i miss you. I miss the ideal dreams of catching sunset with you, strolling down the beach and cliff-jumping.

All in all, i just miss you.

Yellow.

Everything was yellow on that day. It was May 1st. I remember waking up with sore in my heart,thinking deeply "where would i go from here? How would i ever fall in love with anyone else but you?"
And right there and then, i already knew i asked myself the wrong question and i was about to repeat the same mistake i did not so long time ago. I was looping in the same scenario but only with different cool person.
So i got up from bed. I called my friend. I needed to get out from my shells. Instead of taking months like the first time, I prayed hard that i will pass this test with better grade than the last time. I prayed god will forgive all my mistakes and show me the path to see clearer and bigger picture of the situation. Eventually i did i still do. At this point, i realize that when god test us by taking off something or someone dear to our heart, He provide replacement with better ones. :))

Three points for you :)

1. Perkara yang kita perlu biasakan hari2 adalah zikir. Seriously, im teaching myself that now and it's actually so hard to do.

2. Spending habit. Its true that spending our money is therapy. However i have to say that it is not a very good one. If you compare between these two therapies of getting up during nights; performing tahajjud or shopping, the latter is easier to do but the former makes our heart grow fonder and promise more satisfaction. Being me, i think you can guess the answer. Lets together pray for a better me and you. InsyaAllah.

3. I pray everyday is like today which i am committed and happy. I woke up smiling like no one cares, singing in the shower and a cup of caffeine in the morning. I feel blessed.

Hows your day people. Be safe and good. :)

just a thought!

Sudut pandangan manusia terhadap sesuatu perkara memang berubah. kisahnya begini. 

lebih kurang 4 tahun lalu, aku ada membeli sebuah buku berkenaan hadis-hadis nabi. namun malangnya, buku tu tak pernah bersentuh atau dibaca since then! adalah beberapa page aku baca tapi pada waktu tu aku tak dapat nak terima huraian isi yang lebih kepada akhirat, dalam erti kata lain tak menyentuh sangat pasal dunia. itu pandangan aku pada waktu tu. hari ni, tergerak hati untuk capai atas saranan seorang teman. mulanya hanya untuk check hadis yang aku mahu tahu, tapi dari satu topik ke topik lain semakin menarik. mungkin penulisan tidak seberapa namun isinya ada. see, the way we see things do change! :) jadi memang benarlah, semua perkara yang ada di dunia ni tak ada yang kekal melainkan apa yang ada di sisi Allah sahaja. hmmm...

last week, aku ada discussion panjang dengan seorang kawan baik. funny, how people are actually not the way we think (judge). maksud aku, someone yang tak pernah strike to be close to you at the first glance can be someone you can rely on and exchange opinions. 

there's more than meets the eyes.

don't judge a book by its cover.

Umar bin Abdul Aziz berkata : “tiada ada sesuatu nikmat yang dikurniakan Allah SWT kepada seseorang, lalu diambil kembali nikmat tersebut sedangkan orang itu menerima takdir yang menimpa dirinya dengan sabar, melainkan Allah akan menggantikan yang lebih baik bagi dirinya.

Happy mothers day to all mothers in the world.

Anddddddddd, Happy Monday people!

pearls of the day

I talk to myself a lot now. I mean not like talking when no one is watching, but it's more like self-talk. let's recap good things i've learnt these past few days;

1. it's true. we don't need any shoulders to cry on once we cry alone to our Lord, preferably during we prostrate before Him in 5 times prayers and tahajjud.

2. Be patient. Be patient. because there's no limit to it. (Az-Zumar;10)

3. Read at least 5 sentences of quran translation each morning and reflect to our daily routine.

Rejab is here people. :)

daily work

It’s midnight.

It’s weekday.

And I’m still not sleeping, hence I can foresee at what time I’ll be waking up tomorrow. This is the only time I’ve got to blog after a long day at work.

I can barely functional at 5 PM, really. When I was in school, I wouldn’t study during that time because I had this mindset, telling me not to study after 5. Really. It’s the same when I started working and even to these days. So if you see me staring at my computer after 5, I am actually thinking on what to wear for my friend’s wedding that usually months away or which place to visit in Europe, or anything else but work. Hihi…

This has to stop. I mean wasting my time in front of the computer, so I decided to hit the gym or jog which mostly I only walk at the park. It’s very refreshing after a very long and tiring day. The clogged mind seems to lessen bit by bit and by the time I finish tawaf the park or do a bit of running, I definitely feel better. Alhamdulillah. Second option is to play squash. It’s good to have few colleagues that can play really well but now I’m left with none since one is pregnant, the other one is too busy and the rest seems less interested to play. Sob sob. “Dear Allah, please send me someone who can play squash really well so I can brush up my rusty skills and learn to play better. Amiiinn…”

the point to get stronger.

The sound of a breaking heart is almost loud as the screaming that is projected by the voice, but only can be heard by the owner of the heart.

Today was dull. I tried my best to stay awake to the reality, however there’s this one big space of emptiness and silence that seem so lurid for me to bear. I cried soundlessly inside and told myself every single thing will eventually get better. The broken heart will be fixed, the emptiness will be filled and the loud silence will fade away.

It’s worth it. If I could go through this alive, then I know I’d be a different person later on. insyaAllah. Allah will not burden us with something that we cannot handle, that’s what I’ve been telling myself. And as for now, I hold tightly Quran Al-Maidah;06.

.... Allah does not intend to make difficulty for you, but He intends to purify you and complete His favor upon you that you may be grateful.

This is a phase and this too shall pass.

As someone wise told me once;” Allah tengah ajar kau sabar and redha tu” very simple yet very deep.

Letting the balloon go away.

Weird how a stranger could give some meaning and way to look at your problems without you even realize it.

It was last Friday morning and I was ready getting ready for work. Then this one beautiful song was on air. It was Arabic and I couldn’t figure out the meaning when I started listening to it. I glanced through and its lyrics captured my heart right there and then. All the heavy burdens I was carrying for the whole week was gone vanished in a split of second. And my tears started rolling down my cheeks like waterfall.

Law Kana Bainana al-habeeb : if the beloved (Muhammad SAW) were among us.

Subhanallah. It is such a beautiful song.

I started to think how he would be saying if he knew my problem that burdens me was. I was very ashamed for the thought of it because that was not really a problem at all. Let me put this way. If I were to let go of that thing as of now, I won’t go for Jahannam for it. That problem was not part of my responsibilities at all. True, my heart is still aching every now and then due to it and this is a phase I have to endure. That too, shall pass. insyaAllah.

So friends, let’s prioritize our responsibilities and amanahs. J

Below is the translated lyrics:


Kalaulah Kekasih-Mu, masih berada bersama-sama kami,
Akan terlunaslah segala hutang dan semakin hampirlah
dengan haruman Baginda, sebelum hilangnya,
rasa yang meronta-ronta untuk berada hampir dengan Kekasih-Mu.

Berada berhampiran Baginda, jiwa turut menjadi harum
Dan apa jua yang kalian doakan kepada Allah, akan diperkenankan,
Cahaya Nabi Muhammad tidak akan pernah sirna,
Sempatkanlah kami bertemu dengan Baginda,
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Memperkenankan doa hamba...

Hidayahmu kepada alam merata meluas,
Tanda hampirnya kasih sayang Tuhan pemberi hidayah,
Hadith-hadithmu ibarat sungai mengalir jernih,
Berada di sisimu bagaikan dahan yang tumbuh segar dan basah.

Kutebus diriku dengan dirimu, wahai Kekasihku,
Nabi Muhammad yang mulia, yang asing,
Berada berhampiranmu, jiwa menjadi harum,
Wahai yang diutuskan sebagai tanda kasih sayang Tuhan kepada seluruh alam....

Wahai Kekasihku, wahai Nabi Muhammad
Wahai doktor hatiku, wahai yang dipuji dipuja
Dirimu memiliki kelebihan yang diakui
Oleh Tuhan yang turut berselawat ke atasmu.

beautiful words describe me best of now ★♡★♡

Ramblings of A Random Mind: Looking Forward

Muse.

I guess Dan Humphrey was right. Any pertaining matters relate to art, muse is one important thing for an artist to possess. Be it writers, painters.

Between those miles from my hometown until now, i couldn't deny the fact that my thoughts shifted between different muses in my world.

My dreams to witness the beauty of Alps, my vision to have beaten you in sqush or anything equal that could make me laugh at you or laugh with you, images of us being friends and cracking jokes without my adrenaline rushing faster when you are around.

I pray i can completely leave you behind somewhere in the future if it's what meant to be. Or else, i pray for the bond that will bind us together in this world and hereafter. Which is which, I know Allah has the answer and that surely is the best for us.

In the meantime, He is teaching me patience. ♥♥ and i couldnt thank Him more for the lesson.

The airport scene.

She paced heavily. She almost running because the was only one hour left. She cursed the flight delay in silent. Of only she could drive the plane herself, she would. In a time like this, 5 minutes late meant a whole world to her. A whole world.

She almost cried when she saw the long line just to get the red book stamped. She felt like begging the elders in front of her to let her pass or the couple in front of them which she believed were in a hurry and argued about little things. She swore that sje would never wasted her time arguing about little things when there were much bigger things to talk about, dreams to share. She waited patiently for her time to come-for her passport to get stamped.

She was almost running now to collect the luggage. Her phone died, made it impossible to listen his voice earlier than she expected to. While putting her luggage on the trolley, her eyes was all watery and red. The little girl beside her who carried her little backpack smiled doubtly at her. She replied that smile and asked her name. Mabel. That was a beautiful name. She waived goodbye to the little girl and pushed her trolley as fast as she could. It seemed like forever to reach arrival hall.

..... and there he was standing, wearing the white shirt she bought him last month with a goofy smile on his face. The kind of smile she could only see when both of them were around. Tears were strolling down her cheeks by then. She was an hour late. That meant an hour worth of conversation and laughter and lessen the emptiness she felt for almost a month.

They spent the next 45 minutes chatting and laughing. He had this way of making funny stupid jokes that you couldn't not to laugh. Then the final call for him to board were announced. He winked at her said they would be seeing each other again. She offered her smile and nodded. He then kissed her forehead and left. She would hold to the goofy smile until his return.

Time, fly fast.
God, take care of him whereever he is.