please. save me from another draft of forgotten post. please.
i started to feel scared and insecure. i don't want to lose the ambience of excitement; of feeling the adrenaline rush when i did something spontaneous (stupid, for some). the more i think of it, the more the bleak is. of course the best thing in life is when we know what we want to do next without losing grip of reality; which is to appreciate the present. the present. in the morning, i'm looking forward to the evening. when evening is there, i'm looking forward for the night. and in the night i'm longing for the morning. yeap, i do eventho it's working day. i should stop looking forward, aint i? i should just enjoy what is here. here with me.
talking about time, that brought me back to the butterfly effect. i watched the first one, starring Ashton Kutcher (my bestfriend and I used to drool whenever the sight of him greeted us in the magazine when we were still the high-schoolers). so this movie has this so-called alternate endings. well, i think it suits the most with the theme as the main character could go back to the past and fix thing. that's the thing about this one. i was always wondering if i could have another chance to re-do things, to fix the problem, to say what i've always wanted to say without worrying about the consequences because if this real life is that movie and if i were the main character has this power to go back, i'd definitely gonna say what's there in my mind. or do things. like, bungee jumping. ors slap people. or put up my hand and answer the question that i didn't even know what the answers are. or just simply go to you, and bravely say "dude, I'm always waiting for you to say something fisrt. if you say yes, i'd breach the contract for you." even if i got rejected, ashamed of what i did or said, i could always go back and fix it. i'd leave the words hanging in my mind. so that's the thing. this real life is not the butterfly effect. i don't brave enough to take chances, let alone take the big risk especially when your future, or friendship or relationship, or careeer is at stake. the real life butterfly effect is we get to choose one way, and there's no way we could go back. we just have to pretend/accept the choice we made was/is good enough. even if it doesnt hold on to it and make it better.
on the other note, one of the endings has Oasis' stop crying your heart out as the soundtrack. couldn't be better, that one! you don't encounter a movie with a wow effect so frequent in your life. as for me, this one- the butterfly effect- is one of them!
