how can you actually define hope?
how?
hope. that is one big word. maybe as big as discipline in my term.
maybe as big as passion.
i don't know. and at this point of time, i don't think i wanna know.
you know what hurts the most? for being hopefull towards something but in the end it doesn't belong to you. no matter how hard you try. then, you try to be hopeless towards that thing, whatever you want to define that thing, but in the end you still get dissapointed because even you already ignore it the max, it still is bothering your thought. it still lingers around. it's hard to admit, that you might actually ignore it, but you still care for it. you still yearn for it. you still want it.
so maybe here's the point where you should really look closely. maybe the more you want it, the more you think about it, the more you are stepping away from Allah. one of my my good friend used to say;
what you think during performing solah, might be the reasons for the gap between you and Allah.
and now, please replace the word you with I; and it with him.
conclusion: besides hope, redha is also a big word. big big word.
and you think wrongly if you think i'm talking about him instead of you. this is for you. and only you.
letting go for the first time was hard but the second time is harder. and I'm trying. doakan.
