hi people im blogging from my friends iphone!!actually still plannig and thinkig whether wanna buy iphone or blackbrry....still thinking..please lemme be firm in my choice dear god...

just

"you can erase someone from your mind. getting them out from your heart is another story."

nope. i'm not in love with someone besides ma famille. i know i still far away from it. the wall that i built is still thick. i can offer you a friendship, but relationship is like, a different story.
the saying above has nothing to do with what i feel. only that, it's the truth. doncha think?

another truth is, yeah, you can get them out from your heart too.

life as it is.

rough days- they are all here with me since last week.

best of friends are hard to find. seriously.

"constant talking isnt necessarily communicating"
-Clementine; Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind-

i wish i have that eternal sunshine. i wish i have at least few spotless memories where i could directly jump into everytime rough days or pieces of my heart is everywhere. if i look deeper, i guess i have few. i guess.

woke up this morning later than usual. i actually felt very draggy and so not motivated. the sun rises, but i did not. thanks to Amizah's message that fueled my heart with love. someone still care :) sorry babe, i didnt reply. so caught up with works....and thoughts. my fault. happy wednesday to you :)))

then, on the way to work, my phone rang. a call from another good friend of mine. just to check whether i am okay. that call; lighten up my day.

during lunch, had quite enough of laughters.

see, life is hard sometimes, but the way Allah keeps sending good things in our way is what im grateful for.

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i dont know for how many times i've watched Eternal Sunshine of spotless mind and it still magically leaves its mark in my heart. everytime.
i mean, seriously, all the perfection that some movies tend to portray which is so unrealistic is evaporated why this kind of movie. it's real but still magical. so yeah, i agree some people were born to be actors. like Winslet. no other actresses can ever play Clementine better than her. no one. no question about Jim Carey. he's good. real good.

lets get some sleep. maybe thats where my eternal sunshine is :)

bebel 2

i dont understand why do i have to tell the whole world about this just as like i dont understand certain portions and elements of economics. for example;

-my room is in total mess. shirts on the floor. hangers on the bed.
thats not gonna change anything. u dont come clean my room even if u read this right. so whats the point of telling. but i guess thats what people use to these days. shouting this and that on facebook status, but dudes, no one gonna help u if u dont help urself.

i'm waiting for a day when i can clearly see my priorities. nope, scratch that. it happened but all i need now is the day when i can finally brave enough to choose my priorities. for example;
i have works to be done. however, i just couldnt resist the temptation to go hang out with bunch of my friends. demmit. my works remain undone. i think im wired like that all along :(

i am plain simple and plain stupid. i think. *teardrops*

random talking

hari ini perasaan untuk blog membuak2. oh yes, yes. alhamdulillah hari ni macam hari makan sedunia. aku yg kononnya mahu diet tapi makan nasi lemak ayam goreng kau. alhamdulillah. huhu..mungkin aku patut tiru orang buat detox diet tu.

oleh sebab tak ada perkara yang kusut, jadi dalam beberapa hari ni ak telah mengusutkan kepala aku dengan berfikir nak beli iphone ke nak beli blackberry? tolong lah weh. aku konfius. walhal bukan nak beli esok pun. aku baru je plan (tapi memandangakan aku ni spontaneous tahap tak fikir panjang kuasa lapan, kan amizah?) jadi mungkin jugak dalam masa terdekat. tp kalau excitement aku tu tak membuak2 mungkin jugak tahun depan pun belum tentu. i'm wired like that (favourite ayat masa kini).



economics susah dowhhhhhh. aku tak taw cemana aku nak survive :( dengan ada test untuk uji tahap kefahaman kita semua2 tu, mungkin aku patut consider lecturer jurusan economics mana2 universiti tempatan utk dijadikan calon suami. hoho..goodbye handsome and gorgeous pilots.

tapi bak kata aan, where there's a will, there's a way. so holding onto that, i'm trying to make it through. apa yang Allah kasik tu perlulah disyukuri. ye tak?terima kasih Ya Allah.

"i like it when its difficult and hard in what i do" memanglah tak relevan dalam vocab hidup ak sekarang. i wonder where's the old me. that girl grows up lah, syazana. only that the new version is not that strong and excited and fun. (and with acnes on her face). thank you heartbreak, thank you very much. :)) at least, after going through that, i know i actually have some other emotions besides being excited and strong. ecewahh.

aku pandang sepi je Jeffrey Archer nih. errr buku Jeffrey Archer. huuuuuuuu...asal lah kudrat untuk membaca tak ada nih?

good night ler kengkawan :)

a letter to a wise man

dear TM,

with all respect and buckets and bundles of hopes, i do truly wish you will be there on my graduation day. it has been a pleasant dream all along to receive the scroll (my scroll) from you. i've seen my seniors went through that experience and with the look on their faces i knew how proud they were on that day. after all, that was one of the solid reason i did choose to further my studies at UTP from the beginning.

a dear friend of mine informed me that you are now well enough, unlike last year where your condition was not that good, hence your absence on 2010 graduation. however this year, i hope you can make it to UTP, Tronoh because besides my family, you're the main important person on that day. i know this all sounds silly since i never knew you in person, let alone ever talking to you (oh i did, indirectly because i asked you a question during one of your speeches years ago), but due to my admiration towards you, hence the hope, my hope. at least a girl can dream, right TM?

p/s: i always visualize me have a long talk with you over teh tarik and roti canai, overlooking klcc :)) ahhh, thats so nonsense to be true yet still, a girl can dream. only that, i  think some i can work it out to be reality while some remain as dreams ;/

sincerely,
syazana Izzati Zakaria.

message in a bottle

i dedicate this entry to someone dear to my heart.

dear friend, i know you've been through a lot. i admire your courage, your belief and everything you set out to be. only that, i hope you know what is right and what is wrong. people say, set your priorities right and truth to be told, i also dont know how. just yet. but i know you'll find your way. you can go surfing if life gives you hurricanes. i'm sorry for not looking at you, let alone to look up on you. i am in my own bubbles. and my bubbles are in mess. i'm trapped in my own thoughts, trying hard to distinguish which is which. 


i see you're becoming more and more like the old version of me. don't. 
you should respect yourself as much as i respect you as a human being. 
you should keep on walking even if you keep stumbling.
i might not be there to offer my hand, to pull you up, or to be with you in getting through all that, but i you have your own strengths to do all that. you can help yourself.



sincerely,
your friend.

p/s: if i could state one thing about my chapter that involves you, here it is: sometimes, we have to let go to make ourselves complete. it's not only about keeping it :) true, very true. you can try to do the same, if you want to. 

bebel

okay now, when was the last time i really, truly blog? i mean like really blog, like venting things into a very long essay till you feel like puking reading it or you might as well crying due to the exaggeration of my lame story. hoho..as if i ever did that. gahhh..whatever.

for those of you who are reading this, that know me since school or earlier UTP days, please dont ask about my acnes if you ever bumped into me. like seriously. i definitely won't entertain your questions. *piece no wat*

i am sick of procrastinating. i swear i wont do that ever again. i wish i have a veryyyyyyyy strong will to do so. huhu

i made nescafe today but well well well, and now i have a dizzy head. degilllll. nothing lasts forever, so it seems. even my love for nescafe is also fading away. i'm sorry. thanks for accompanying me all this while. the feelings for you is now gone with the wind. no longer inspires me, no more. errr..double meaning much? yes, yes it is. :D

my shopping mood is seasonal. what i mean is, i am not in constant mood to shop. i think i'm just wired like that because thats how i observe myself, my purchases and such. when the mood is there, god, i wanna but every singe thing that grabs my attention. huhu...but when it doesnt, sale lah macam mana pun, sorry, not interested. however, lately i think the mood is frequent. this might due to my adjustment of working life. i hate that word, WORKING. hate it.

why?

because i cant escape it whenever i feel like to. i cant have my beauty sleep in the afternoon. by 10 pm i am flat into bed, swimming in the dreamland. my reading whereabouts remain unknown. i cant even remember which page i've read in Cat O' Nine Tales. i miss Jeffrey Archer. i do, i really do. i miss reading his words, dude. for that, i dont have any concrete reasons on why that particular good habit of mine went haywire. you tell me. i'm giving myself too much excuses..

for the past 2 months, i think i watched too many movies in the cinema. huh..mom are not very happy about this. well, she always against in watching movies in the cinema. i dont know why. mak, kakak pergi dengan kawan-kawan. bukan bf :)

ermm..what else? oh yes. i browsed through the past chat history with certain friends of mine and can't thank Allah more for all the blessing. Alhamdulillah. dont wanna complain much because i have so much. alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah

last but not least, good night. have a good following weekdays.

1. coffee made me felt dizzy for the whole day. :(( dude, i cant have more caffeine. my body wont tolerate it. for now.

2. its not even 9 and i just wanna sleep.

good night

kung fu panda

please watch.

i know i know. for those who are close to me, you may find my statement as a surprise. syazana doesnt watch cartoon EXCEPT Up. yes yes. you are so RIGHT. i dont watch cartoons. i HATE watching cartoons. no one can ever forces me to watch cartoon with them including my dearest sisters.
however, last friday night, my sister and friend managed to influence me to watch Kung Fu Panda. after loads of persuasion the seemed to be endless, i agreed. that was because tickets for XMEN FIRST CLASS are sold out. so yeah, the sole choice that left was Kung Panda. we picked 3D.

huaaaaa. i couldnt know believe myself that i enjoyed the whole movie so much. like, seriously you guys should go and watch. there are lines of funny conversations and that movie inspired me a bit. for someone who procrastinates as much as me, one of the memorable quote from the movie that i remembered most is;

"whats important is NOW"

reality check!

fianally i changed this blog name. yeah. done.

i went through my friend's wedding photos. awesome. congratulations to both of you. :) may you live happily ever after untill in Jannah. insyaAllah.

this grown-ups thingies scare the hell out of me. huuhuu. work-life, marriage, financial, savings, cooking, house chores, lacks of mapley night, lacks of late night talk and walk, less star-gazing, house chores (again), having kids, uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i'm not ready for all of these. never thought i would ever be. please help me. i stuck in my teenage world. talking about kids, how can i handle another miniature of me? huu i might end up slapping her cheeks till swollen. dear mom, how can u be so patient handle me and all of us? i think raising girls is harder than boys. and we have four at home. mom, for the love for me, please lend me some of your patience when the time comes for me to go through the phase as a selfless human being- being a mother.

inhale, exhale.

okay, now lets think something happy. bowling/squash/xmen anyone? :))