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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Daisiessssss!

He waited for me near the coffee shop. the way he leaned against the wall clearly showed that my unpunctuality had gotten to his very last nerves and I could sense his rage from afar. As I walking towards him, gradually, of which my steps seemed to be like eternity, I tried to figure out what he was listening. Vindicated was the first scanty guess came to mind as he was rooting on DB for few weeks now. Covertly, I actually did fall for the band’s drummer who was a total dream, fitting just nice for a perfect crush. As much as I wanted to put a defence to my high-built ego, I feigned dull and dreary facial expressions for each time he brought up the topic.

So I nudged, and he looked down. Drenched from the afternoon shower while I was walking just now lessen down his fury due to my lateness. Not a word was spoken between us as a sign I got a free pass for making him wait.


So there, ladies and lads- my attempts to write as it turned out to be a half-baked story. hehe

I was frying my brain to come out with a simple short story but that’s all I got. Really.

That, put a big question mark on how we did really two long essays and how writers do write. Salute.

Ripped off from the news I posted on facebook and Instagram, the one that I consider its need to be mentioned in here too; Daisy. Well, the said particular movie was released all the way back in 2006. Had to admit that I built crush on the sniper (who’s also the main character) in the movie. You need to watch by yourself and go deep besides maybe trying to apprehend the meaning behind. Love, sadness, faith all are clustered and successfully revealed by acting especially from the actress. Frankly, I felt sorry for her as she left the impression to be seen as nothing but fragile and hopeless girl. Speaking of fictional epic of undying true love.


Kononnyalah. 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

apa apa lah labu..

Finally, love & misadventure is safely in my possession. its maroon cover had obviously became one of the leading of some reasons of the purchase,  which seemed like essential. For the cheifreason is due to the fact that I’ve been following lang Leav’s quotes for quite a while now. suffice to say, since the beginning of my blooming interest in tumblr. Frankly speaking, there isn’t much that I adulate at heart, to my surprise because to in all honesty, I thought there is more to it. Expectation could really be a plunged killjoy. Nonetheless, it has been a warm read through hours on the flight to KK, last Thursday.

A poem entitled – A dedication, remains one of the brightest highlights of all.

I’ve always known of my doting towards the sight of sunrise and sunset (preferably from the rigs/platform), which I envision myself doing somewhere in the near future that is still impending by the way. That is a hurtful, acidic bitter fact to swallow and live with whenever insecurity takes over, once in a while. Suffice to say, that I love myself as a person a tad too much hence soaking into pitchy melancholia is somehow never conveyed as an option. Speaking of flecks of hope here.

(Dashboard Consfessional’s Vindicated is in the air)

After all, I do enjoy my job. The intermittent meaningless abyss that lunged are the curios of my longing to feel what it is like in a different environment. i think so. And for specifically that, I shall move forward, levitating my efforts to the so-called aims.


Random fact: I miss strolling Paris during the night overlooking golden and glinting Eiffel Tower. 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

butterflies

I’m sitting alone in a café with iced cappuccino in front of me and the duet from Indigo ft Juliana Banos on repeat. You can go figure that particular song, if you want to. I can feel butterflies flying around in my stomach. That’s annoying, really. I meant, this phase – the kind of phase where you start to know a wonderful person in your term and you smile reminiscing about his jokes over and over again. It’s like you’re standing at the edge of the cliff, the kind of cliff that you can find in Ireland, and you almost fall down but something called “rationale” is holding you back. 

Don’t rush into love- whispers your heart.


I won’t – you brain murmurs in a soft voice, only your heart can listen to the sound of it. 

Saturday, November 30, 2013

take five!

One.
It’s good to be back using the old number. I went thru with 3 different phones with it. Some things are really meant to stay, thru thick and thin.

Two.
I smiled reading one of my friend’s wish on during my birthday last month. That is definitely a quote I will always remember.
“…….. I’ve had one of the best trips in my life with you already”. My eyes filled with tears right there and then. I love you too, babe.

Three.
Today, I found out another one of many good reasons, blessing in disguise for not having him in my life. Honestly, a couple of months back, his happiness seems like a betrayal for me. The idea of someone else will be holding his hands till the end of time seems so much for me to bear, but being human I’m again being shown and led to the right track. And now, I want nothing else but a pure blessed happiness for you and me. I meant every word I said. We really should be with someone who inspires us, but the most important is, the one we can inspire too. No wonder my one of my most favourite scenes are from;

One tree hill; when Ravens won their basketball championship. Lucas came to Peyton and said
“ the one I want to be right next to me when all my dream comes true is you”
A walk to remember; the moment Landon had asked Jamie to stand between the borders and made one of her dreams come true.

Four.
The prettiest girl is the one who is happy inside and outside.


Five.
Have a great weekends you all.

Friday, November 29, 2013

what makes you, you?

What makes you, you?

I remember asking a friend of mine, what he would ask if he ever had the opportunity to talk to one of his most-admired person on earth and that was what he replied.

What makes you, you?

So yes, I did ask that question for him, in front of thousands of audience in one of the talks I never failed to attend during my stay in UTP.

I was overwhelmed. I never knew I had the courage to ask in front of the all the people, afraid if my question might be sounding so stupid comparing to the others’ which related to the current issues on economy and such. But I did, anyway.

I love this one quote from Winston Churchill, if I’m not mistaken;
Go to the direction of your dream. Live the life that you imagine.

That sounds firm and logical.


And now, let us define our dream. The ultimate dream so we can work hard and focus and be discipline enough towards those dreams. If they’re best for us, then i shall hope Allah make ease for us towards them, and if it’s not, the all the efforts towards that will be paid off with greater things that we've ever imagined.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Of Paris!

For blogging at this hour, I have not found any good excuse for this.

Hence, this is really an intended post, fresh from the office.

Today is Monday and surprisingly it doesn’t feel like one. There’s no draggy numbness or any other synonym for it. Wanna know why?

Because tomorrow is an off-day people.

There’s a slight funny in the way of people’s thinking actually. Mostly, it revolves around expectation and when you know what’s in the future is good, then you feel excited about it. That’s one or two points I’ve collected from my previous reading. It’s a good read, that one but I’m not very sure the title of the book.

But that’s not really the point I wanna write about.

During one of my trips to the toilet this morning, I realized that I haven’t convey much of my experience during the last trip.

I went to Europe people!

I think that I was very much overwhelmed by the excitement and incredulity until none of my drafts seem good enough to represent, let alone reveal my true feelings. Hence, the delay.

There were few cities all together. The chill air awaits me as I stepped outside from Heathrow Airport. It was very cold (at least, for me) and they call that summer. The wind blew softly against my face and right there and then I felt like kneeling down and wanted to cry.

“This is London baby!” – I told myself quietly.

If you knew me long enough, then you would know, for me, that London is not just a place for a visit, it’s so much more than that. basically, that city summarized partial of my childhood dreams, thanks to Cinta Antara Benua and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayengge that I have this one solid dream to focus on and work on. I always thought it would take me longer to reach there but it was proven otherwise. Alhamdulillah..

From London, I took bus to Warwick where I would meet my darling sister and stayed there for a few days before we started off hour journey to explore Europe and discover of what it has to offer. We visited quite a few places nearby namely Birmingham and Oxford. It was good to walk along the quiet road in warwick alone since my sisters had to attend a few more classes and exams for the next 2 days or so.

From Warwick, off we went to London to catch our train to Paris. Phew!

Paris, here I come!

One of the main apparent reasons why I am so fond of Paris is due to the fact that I learnt that subject back in high school. Academically speaking, in terms of that subject, I was quite good. I enjoy the subject very much and looking forward for the classes. I wish I could say the same for the rest but well, i rest the case. I still remember how we used to sing French songs and watched movies. That, I enjoyed the most particularly.

After 3 long hours, we arrived at Paris and I was like,

Wow! Paris!

We walked straight to our hotel and with rusty French, I tried my best to converse in the local’s language, asking for directions. My sister stood there, blinking her eyes more than usual and raising her eyebrows when the locals actually understood what I was saying.

Not bad, I thought to myself.

Frankly speaking, the road naming in France was very hard to decipher. Like, really. We pushed and pulled our trolley bags around for almost one hour before approaching the motel’s doorstep. Our room was petite and very cute.

It was drizzle and scotch mist all around, the day we took long stroll along Paris. The road was slippery but that was not an excuse for tourists to walk around the city. My sister and I included. Let me tell you a bit of her. She’s different from me. Instead of walking, she prefers sight-seeing from the rooftop of the tour-bus which I am obviously against to. So I dragged her along to walk with me, looking at me sipping the hot steaming coffee/cappuccino. We had one of the best nutella crepes there, overlooking Eiffel Tower. There were a few kids running around, laughing. There was a couple with the little infant. If I were to freeze that moment for a while, that molded very beautiful memory and insyaAllah I will never let it slips from my mind. It’s one of a token that I should remember how wonderful Allah has been for me and my sister, and for us to be grateful.

In Paris, we’ve seen countless if (nude/half naked) paintings, and there was a point when I looked at my sister and said,

I don’t enjoy looking at half-naked guys these women with weird boobs anymore.

And then, we browsed through cafes and coffee shops for a quick caffeine consumption, basically it’s for me since my sister is juice of a person.

What else to tell?

Oh, the food. If you plan to visit Paris sometime in the future, Laduree is a must to go to! They serve like the best macaroons in town and I am glad my sister insisted and tricked me to go there. It was a blessing in disguise.


All in all, the trip to Paris was indeed a fun and memorable. I remember how both of us glued to the pavement the moment we turned around and saw those beautiful glinting colors of Eiffel Tower. I did shed tears right there and then, seeing the Eiffel that I used only see in the postcards, pictures and that more often than not my desktop background  standing so tall right in front of my bare eyes.  

there's always more than meets the eyes.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

From Paris to KL

There was a first time for everything.

I was driving through Jalan Ampang, late this evening. I stopped for the red light, right in front of the Public Bank where you can clearly see KLCC. It was beautiful. It was very beautiful, really.
Few nights ago, I brought my beloved mother for a quiet talk after dinner. And so we did sit facing the pinkish KLCC (in conjunction with breast cancer campaign), and even in pink, they are still very beautiful, indeed. Just like the first time I saw them standing tall 13 years ago.

I think I’ve mentioned this in my previous posts few years back about my appreciation towards all the people related directly and indirectly towards this mega project all the way back in the early 1990s. seriously, from the very simple and hard work like sketching the plan to the cementing the floor, decorating, thank you very much. You’ve made a great job that is very much inspiring.

Thank you.

Been re-reading the economic crumble issues in one of the topics from A Doctor In the House, and re-pick up a few points that I seemed to miss out or forgot entirely from the first time I’ve read the book. I admire the turbulence he had to go through in solving the problems, when I’ve heard some sceptical does mention that it wasn’t as hard when you have economists and finance experts predict that to you. I truly hope these wonderful bunch of people to differ as being a leader is not an easy job. Yes, we do have those experts but remember, the final say is from the leader. I know how hard economics can be at times, and I do truly wish that with the very little understanding I  have of it, can be as well applied in my life towards Jannah. So back to the book; where commonwealth game is only a few months away, the inflation rate that jumbled like ping pong ball thrown to wall, then you can see the responsibilities he has to uphold. Alhamdulillah, all went well for those two challenging years for him.

From a brief view, economics is more or like an art. You’re dealing with parameters that constantly changing due to various reasons from inflation to political stability that can be very much beautiful for a periods of time and there comes the turbulence. Like any other field of expertise, you do have a way or maybe ways depending on how you look at your scenarios are. It’s more or less the same with our lives. We do have these parameters that determine your life marks. In the end, it depends on which lens we use to view our life.

Rest assured that there is a lot of lenses and beautiful filters to beautify our life.

With Allah’s will.

J

Sunday, October 20, 2013

beautiful wisdom.

YOU, my friend, are undeniably, unquestionably, extraordinarily amazing and powerful!
Have you forgotten this already?
In case you’re stuck in a moment of temporary confusion, allow me to remind you of some truths you need to start telling yourself more often…

1.  “I do not have to settle.”

Oh, how I love your fierceness, your undying drive, the sheer wildcat intensity with which you slink through the jungle like a creature of passion – a passion that lights you up and that rises from the center of your calmest, deepest, most grounded self.
I so love it how you refuse to settle – for less than your best, for less than you deserve, for less than what it is you were made to be and to have and to do.
You won’t settle for the work that makes you a living, without also balancing in a life that’s worth living.  You won’t settle for the man or woman who keeps you warm at night, but who can’t see his or her way into the depths of your soul or the breadth of your heart.  You won’t settle for giving less than everything to your work, to your play, to your loves, to your life.
In fact, if there’s one thing you will settle into in this lifetime, it’s the belief that the greatest risk is never to risk at all.  And oh, how you’re willing to dare greatly – for passion, for connection, for the adventure of being alive.
I absolutely love it, you powerful, non-settling soul, you!

2.  “I have great reasons to trust myself and the universe.”

You’ve come a far way – from listening to the expectations and the outer shoutings of the crowds, to learning to listen to your own inner compass and your own inner voice.
You know now that the first person to check in with, always, is your deepest, truest self, and she has never let you down.  She knows when to say, “Yes please” and when to say “Heck no!”, when to lean in and when to let go.  She knows when to strike hard, when to back off, and when to slow down and breathe.
In every instant, she knows exactly what you need and exactly what to do.
And you’ve learned to trust her.
But you’ve learned to trust others too.  You know in whom to place your trust and how to let others in fully, deeply… completely.  You’ve learned it can be safe to open and let yourself be seen and heard and loved for the magnificent person you are.
Lastly, you’ve learned to trust in this crazy nest-of-a-universe that holds you and to fully rest in its inevitable care.  Storms will come in this lifetime, you know, but with time the rain and the rage and the shaking wind will subside into tranquility, and even the hardest of winters will soften into spring.
With everything inside you, without a fragment of doubt, you know this to be true.
Yes, I love the way that you’ve learned to trust – wholeheartedly, fiercely, deeply – in yourself, in others, and in the universe that holds you.

3.  “My weirdness is one of my greatest strengths.”

That’s right; you got it: You are powerful because you’re such an unrivalled weirdo.
I love all those weird little things about you – the way you snort when you laugh, the way you rock those glasses with style, and how you shake it out on the dance floor like no one else is judging you.
I love the way you show up in the world: unapologetically, eccentric-ly, wholly yourself, because who you are is the one and only YOU.
I love your individuality.  Please say you’ll never stop showing the world who YOU are.

4.  “I can continue to let my struggles open me, and not close me.”

On the days you were betrayed – not once, not twice, but again and again and again – you still vowed to keep your heart open anyway.
You were mistreated, but you learned to love others anyway.
Life sucked sometimes, but you didn’t let it suck the life out of you.
Instead of closing, you opened.
Instead of hardening, you softened.
And when life hit you hard, you chose not to die, but to let yourself be born again.
You’ve chosen love over hate, compassion over indifference, and transformation over ruin.  You are blossoming more and more every day, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.

5.  “I am still here learning and trying, even after all my failures.”

The truly beautiful thing about you is the way you never let your failures get you down – at least, not for long.
Remember that time you fell face down in the mud?
You came back stronger than before.  You remembered that, as the proverb goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and that, as Epictetus would say, “No great thing is created suddenly.”
You let your “failures” carve out your person like the insides of a canyon wall, creating something majestic and wondrous and breathtakingly beautiful.  Instead of succumbing, you let them forge you into a person of strength and of character, humility and grace.
You aren’t one to be stopped – oh no, not you.  You may have had failures in one sense of the word, but in another sense, you’ve always won.  You’ve won because you failed to give up and you failed to give in.  You kept rowing, reinventing, learning from your defeats and pushing harder each time.  Your ability to persevere astounds me, and you do it with grace every time.
You, my friend, are stronger than you know.

6.  “I am powerful simply because I am ALIVE right now.”

You, Sweet Honey Child, are worthy and valuable and mighty beyond measure simply because you were born into this world – simply because you breathe – simply because you are right here, right now.
You were IT from the very instant you were born into this weird, unfathomable, joyful and painful experience called “life”:  Worthy.  Valuable.  Magnificent.  Infinitely loved.
You were IT at your highest.  You were IT at your lowest.  You still are IT.  You are simply, purely, unquestionably, unconditionally, a ridiculously powerful human being.
It doesn’t matter who you are to others or whether you believe this to be true.  It doesn’t matter what you look like, where you live, or what you’ve done in the past.  It doesn’t matter what anybody else tells you (or what you tell yourself, for that matter).  Look me in the eyes, Wonder Woman/Superman.  You are the song in my heart, the whisper on my lips.  The reason life has meaning.
You are IT!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

A letter to you.

After all of this thing, I hope you grow stronger than before.

Remember the beauty of Alps that almost took your breath away, such beauty that hardly to swallow in because it is so beautiful. That, you almost cried just by looking at the magnificent mountains covered in snows.

Remember all one thousands of dream that you want to accomplish while you still have the time in this world, remember the thoughts you have during the train journey between those mountain from Swiss to Italy. You surely want to make yourself a better version each day as the time passes by. Remember the time when you called your best friend on one cloudy afternoon and cried to her about your shattered dreams, rant on and on how he would never understand your feelings but you are selfish enough to let go off him. Remember on how you hated certain aspect of your work so much until you don’t know what to feel anymore.

Now look back. And see things clearer.

These things happen because they want to shape you to be the better version of you as you always wanted to be. There are some of your plans that failed, certain hopes that just died and gone with the wind, only for you to find out that god has better plans for you in store. For example, you surely wouldn’t want to trade your trips to Interlaken for Prague, isn’t it? See, what you don’t plan sometimes can turn out to be so well for you.

You love writing so much. That’s what you do when you are down, then write your heart out. You have a few good friends that are hardly to find as they listen to your twisted, immature sad love stories without judging and give their time for you. And you have a sister who is blooming into one of the most wonderful person you’ve ever met in your entire life, who shares the same dreams with you, who support you despite she’s also is one of twisted too. Not everyone has a sister who studied the shooting locations of your fave movies and brought you there and now happened to be one of the best memories you two have together.
So don’t tell me now you cannot further in whatever you have in mind. Think again when you feel you are valueless because truth is, what people say don’t matter as much as what god and prophet(pbuh) said more than thousand years ago, and surely what your heart and mind says the best and right for you.


I love you.

Friday, September 27, 2013

this kind of thing.

What would I do when I wake up in the morning and realize things were not how they are supposed to be, in my term?
Would I cry? Would I scream?
What would I do?
I woke up this morning with the same feeling I wake up with since the past few months. It was occasional, of course, but it surely there. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. But I smiled instead. Staring myself at the mirror with a smile on my face. A sincere smile at that.
No one ever guarantees that life would be easy or should be, at that. we go through life with different options, expectation and hope. Now, the secret is to balance the hope so it won’t be high enough which eventually will make you suffer when you dive to the ground or maybe the same hope shattered down to pieces. After all, whatever sadness, emotional turmoil that we are experiencing is nothing less just a feeling. They all shall pass. it’s actually a good thing really- to be stumbled once in a while so I can check and evaluate myself. No one is perfect, and the point of perfection can never be reached hence the room for improvement is always open for us.  
And as for now, at this moment and time, I’m still searching in one aspect that will complete me. Detaching has never really been easy for me, I will try harder for it, for it brings so much to learn from.


Till then!

Friday, September 20, 2013

The beauty of silent.

There will come a point where we learn to listen more, talk less. For some, this kind of trait resides in them since forever, and  for the rest they'll come to that when there is a change of perspective or maybe never.

I find it funny, really.

I used to talk a lot about things i like or love to a lot of people. Even, with acquintances without considering the fact that i actually steal their time mostly with some boring topics. Along the way, i find it best to cave in once in a while and pick the listener. No, it does not mean if i dont tell you i dont trust you. It's more like, i just value the privacy even more, or i am teaching myself to conceal certain thoughts that is jittery and worthless of mentioning.

Because sometimes, we never were completely honest when we voice out the opinions yet it reached to others with different meaning.

And sometimes, we just dont want people to remind us of something that is worthless remembering.

And maybe, too, this is one of aging process. :)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

dust.

The person who was just randomly introduced to you, years ago, could be the one who made your heart skipped a beat early in the morning and already made up your day when truth was, it was just a beginning.

Like thunders, the pieces fall gracefully into a bigger picture of a life puzzle, composing the larger view for your own reflection. It is how it is. You love who you love. There’s no more withholding when it comes to this. When you stopped brooding over “what-might-have-been”s with some specific people or maybe some things and you’ll find peace at heart.

And I have loved you. It might not be till the end of time, but I once did. Infrequently, I ask myself if I still do. Truth is, it’s just a feeling. Like wind, it blows away if it’s not meant to be. insyaaAllah.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Of one tree hill

Scrolled down the tumblr posts made me want to run and rob kinokuniya. Really. Get myself a copy of of
Camus. Lucas had eloquently quoted him few times in one tree hill yet the urge to find out more of him was more or less none during that time.  How lah when my eyes had only been fixed to Murray's sweetest smile.  On a personal note, with all my heart, the deepest one at that;I did and still do like the opening of One tree hill for season 4. Heartbreakingly, melted each time.  Each time.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The new keypad!

Finally I can blog using this blogger aps really conveniently. Very good and I love this keypad.  Now I just have to figure the auto-correct stuff.  Heheeee.... The aps is SwiftKey, btw....

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Surah al-qasas

Surah Al-Qasas, Verse 50: فَإِن لَّمْ يَسْتَجِيبُوا لَكَ فَاعْلَمْ أَنَّمَا يَتَّبِعُونَ أَهْوَاءَهُمْ وَمَنْ أَضَلُّ مِمَّنِ اتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ بِغَيْرِ هُدًى مِّنَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الظَّالِمِينَ But if they answer you not (i.e. do not believe in your doctrine of Islamic Monotheism, nor follow you), then know that they only follow their own lusts. And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah? Verily! Allah guides not the people who are Zalimun (wrong-doers, disobedient to Allah, and polytheists).

(English - Mohsin Khan) via iQuran

Allah guides not the zalim people.

Zalim;cruel.

I understand that cruelty is not only between you and me but its also from within. Like if i starve myself for weeks for the purpose of diet, that is quite considered as cruelty to the body. It is amanah and it should be taken care of.

I know a lot of you girls (its more of a reminder for my own) wanna lose some weight after raya right, but lets also take the good diet k.

Night ;)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Of lilies, peonies and roses

Flower
Is
Such
A
Beautiful
Thing

Pretty smile. :)

To be in all honesty, i am not a big fan of lililies. It was an immatured thought i had early this year when i woke up one fine morning and thought to myself

"Syazana Lilies Izzati..." is such a nice combo.

Smirks.

Therefore the renaming of almost every social network account i've owned since day 1. But really, deep down in my heart i adore roses. Yellow one!

Just that, peonies are also very attractive to my eyes these days.

I hope i wake up tomorrow with the thought

"I wanna get married... "

Heheeee.. itchy itchy mode activated. Gatal lah kau.

Err.. good night?

My pretty (in other word;swollen,black) eyes are hurt due to excessive reading done.

Phewwww

I've found newer site sanctuaries, the ones i believe are new bestfriends while waiting for the train or longggg traffic light moments. Im happy!

I shall pull down the curtain and sleep. Good night and enjoy the rest of the pictures ok.

Ps: yes.. the new blog is still there.

Selamat hari raya

Selamat hari raya. Maaf zahir batin. ,))

Saturday, August 10, 2013

hey hey you you

Folks,
I bought a new home. errr, not the real one though.

izzatizz.wordpress.com

blogspot does not being so nice to me lately, hence the move. worries not, i keep this one, nonetheless. 

much love,
syazanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thursday, August 8, 2013

selamat hari rayaaaa

entah kenapa hari ni internet lembab macam siput.
tadi tak boleh open blogspot langsung. selamat dah create blog baru di wordpress. haihsss.
tapi sekarang boleh la pulak. aigoo

selamat hari raya semua orang.

hari ni malas gile nk berpuitis bermadah bagai. cukuplah sekadar wish ucapan selamat hari raya yang straight forward tu ok. anddddddddd sejak bila lah pulak blog ni dah jadi day to day life updates.

ahhh biarkan semua itu. aku perlukan sesuatu yang baru. :P

sukanya dalam hati mak masak nasi tomato. weeehuuuu

hajat di hati nk upload gambar hari raya tapi internet lembab macam siput ini tidak mengizinkan.

sorry naik lorry k.

till then!

Monday, August 5, 2013

dekat padamu

..kerana cinta sedalam itu mekar bila ku dekat padamu..

that was written on the pink sticky note pasted on my wall, back in UTP.

i just love that song. plus, jika kau tiada makes me smile all day.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Par-ghee.

And i miss Paris more than you can even imagine.
The coldness of the chill air left me spellbound with my very own thoughts.

I
Miss
Paris.

random #1

My mind is not structured.

Sigh.

I’ve wanted to come out with a long entry in essay mode, the kind I can be totally guileless on the nubs of it and the kind I can convene all the beautiful floriated words together with their double meaning of sentences. yet I can’t seem to find the right time and ideas to write one, so please bear with me with my boring entry. Nevertheless, the urge to blog is excruciating, hence 2 entries in one night.

Okay, right now. I hate it when all of sudden I lost the train of thoughts that seemed to be so long a minute ago and left me with the unspoken words. That’s unfair for someone who wants to write that much like yours truly.

Oh, I had marvellous iftar(s) this week with different group of friends with very delicious food. Nyummeh. You have no idea how a get-together could mean so much when that is the only event we can actually sit and talk properly, besides work-related matter. So this to happen because most of the time, we encountered each other in the lifts where we don’t have much time to catch up and I hate small talks. So I would just randomly smile to the ex-classmates instead of exchanging life events updates. so yes, I’m all interested in the so-called reunion.

Talking about that, I’m also a flop when it comes to keeping in touch via messages or cards or whatever, nevertheless the ones who are close to me have never been slipped through my mind. I remember, I only suck in the gestures part. that, I will improve. (kot).

I’m pretty happy with my life the past couple of days because I’m not busy preparing the presentation packs anymore. So no more excel sheets, and going through project listing that I swear a chief stimulation for me to puke. I just don’t want to handle one more of that, for the time being. Ask me to do anything else but that. Hehe..

I’m in the middle of the deep ocean of thoughts, contemplating on abandoning the whole thing entirely and move somewhere else, or keep on trying then, this one sentence from the quran hit me hard “berapa banyak lagi nikmat tuhan kamu yang kamu mahu dustakan, amatlah sedikit kamu bersyukur”. Basically, that’s not exactly what has been said in the quran, but the gist and lessons of the ayat is there. I shall find the full translation, insyaAllah. But now, I’m leaving you with this first, for our own reflection, okay?

choose wisely

We were talking about stance and perspective when the waiter approached us to clear the peacan pie plate, one of my good friends’ favourite. He likes it very much, you can tell from his eyes, from the way he enjoys the tasty butter cream of every bit of the pie.

Stance? What is it? why did we, the bunch of seem-like ignorants had to discuss and had say on this matter, let alone the venue taken place at Alexis. If you get what I meant, which obviously I bet you don’t. still, never mind though. You can fathom the essence of this entry, gradually. Hopefully.

Recently, this one particular thought crossed my mind and left me muddled. The idea and reality of the comfort zone. Frankly, I’m uncertain of since when I’ve let myself to be in the same comfort zone for such a period of time. And I felt stagnant, like I’m stuck and screaming and no one is listening and offers their hands to help. Again, the question is, where is my stance on this situation? Should I just let it be? That’s the idea of the whole discussion.


No, we were not discussing specifically on my world problem but we discussed in general. On the causes or roots of our qualms that lead to vulnerabilities, in the long run. It’s horrible, really; to just surrender to our very own wrong comfort zone. So we need to choose, and be sure the choice we make is the right one. Quoted from one of my friends, the power is in your hand. So choose wisely.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

iced mocha and baju bajan



Ladies and gentlemen, presenting,

Iced white coffee mocha! (please google image, thanks!)

I’m a caffeine dependent. Not that replenishment of the said needed on my body on a daily basis, but I just love to claim so. So yeah, I've finally tried the good and infamous iced white coffee mocha from Old Town and all I know now is I don’t give a flying cheeks or second look to Starbucks anymore.

Heh?

Seriously?

Yes my dear. You heard it right. I’m sure! But being me, I’m even unsure of how long this frenzy addiction is gonna last, but the iced white coffee mocha is seriously superb and you, you and you should try it even for once because it’s so damn tasty. Drive or walk to your nearest Old Town by tomorrow for berbuka, will you.

On the second note, I am a happy kid today. First, because I’ve managed to finish up 50% of the presentation slides that I’ve been working on, you know the copy-paste thingies and the tedious edits and such do drive me insane. When I say insane, I mean insane which the level of sanity decreases rapidly and left your eyes juling just by looking at the excel spreadsheet. thus, for now, I can clearly see I’m not (maybe, never) be ready for management works, but while it’s there, just flow with it. secondly, all of my unfolded cloths are now neatly folded and on my bed. God bless that girl. Really.

I’m not in a good term with laundry. I don’t, I repeat, I do not favour the doing of hanging (to dry them) or folding them afterward because I’m just simply languid in that washing expanse. Whatever it is, my stance on no one but me ever going to touch, hang and fold my husband’s cloths is still o'er in force. Yes, obsessive and possessive like a madwoman. Haha.. therefore, if I were to have a maid, an old one at that, she just has to wash my cloths and my kids’.dah kalau macam tu baik hantar laundry je or basuh je sendiri. Hence, the issues solved. I’m so going to wash my family’s cloths every other day.

Yawn…


Good night. long day tomorrow. 

ps: just realized i don't know what juling is in english. funny eyes? rolling eyes? gahhh.. whatever. good night!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Randomness

One.

Cashier: raya nanti balik mana?
Me (in my heart):Rembau.
Me (words from my mouth): insyaAllah Kedah.

Haih! How could my inner self talks betrayed ny beloved hometown by answering Rembau. I knew no boy from Rembau, let alone to have a boyfie from there,at that. That was instinct or whatelse? Thus, i shall keep alert the next time i'm introduced to a handsome,tall lad whose hometown is Rembau. (Amboi,adjective tak nak kalah. Tolong aminkan please. Thankssss)

Two.
Today was..hurm.. a history. I reached super early at work with one and only intention to finish up the pack. Had sahur at the office and now i can officially say i satisfied with the work today eventho it's quite a full blast pressure for a day. One blessed,good thing for sure walking through of working experiences this year is: patience. I was/still am far away to master at it, but i'm surely one level higher. I do hope so. InsyaAllah.

Happy weekends everyone :))

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Morning talk.

Sorry folks. I just read my previous entries and there were like hundreds of unstructured words with the simplest grammatical errors all over them. Talking about securing an A for GCE paper seems a lie now. Haha.. nevertheless i do have the cerificate to assert the above claim ok. Just in case you wanna bring it up to court. Merepeklah syazana...

Anything to make me feel good for today because i have this presentation pack to finish and hopefully July 30th will come smoothly and steadily without the storms or emotional breakdown. God bless! Just in case it does happen, rest assured that i have your phone numbers to call you up anytime i feel like venting out pressure in my brain. You as in the beautiful abd handsome good friends, that is.

Birthday shout out to one of my collegues; happy belated birthday! Sweet 26th! Secretly i thanked him a lot for the talk that we had during dinner did really open up my views about relationship and such.ehehe.. Eventho i had to go thru in quite emotional rough patches for a strike of a bitter reality afterward, but i did it anyway. So thank you. I pray you are in Allah bless now and hereafter. Amiin...

Have a blessed day people. Stay beautiful and healthy!

thoughts for today :)

I still do wonder how mother-daughter bond does work. I mean, how can after you think you had the pressurized day ever, yet when you talk with your mom everything seems so fine and there’s hope for anything that you’re struggling about. Thank you Allah for mothers. They do really bright our day and I pray to Allah when the time comes I can carry that particular big responsibility as our mothers do because they are so strong and great in their own way. I love you to the moon and back.

The entry about the summary of my Europe trip is almost done. I knew I can never justify to the fullest the beauty of Alps by my writing but I do really hope you get the beauty I’m trying to portray. If not, it’s better for you to check the MAS online tickets to Swiss now and book. Interlaken is such a place to visit. Hold my words on that, please. It’ll be published soon, once the entry is done.

Since I have nothing else to write about my life, let me briefly tell you about the stories and lesson learnt that I’ve read few days back. Here they go;

1.       I was browsing through the internet when the quotes of Umar Al-Khattab (my favourite caliph) caught my attention. it’s more or less about solah, on how as a muslim, the solah (5 times daily prayers) should never be neglected, regardless what because once you lost the feeling of importance of it then you would lose everything. Coming from there, I kept my reading about him during war and such. And there was  a story about this man who went to the war with him, and was badly injured. Then, he killed himself because he couldn’t stand the pain. So when the sahabat addressed this to the prophet, he said that the man will not be together with the syahids (the ones who died during the war) because he killed himself; regardless he had fought wholeheartedly during the war. Thus the point I’m seeing is whatever hopeless and painful the situation is, we can never ever give up on ourselves and Allah.

2.       Then, I read through on my Umar died. He was stabbed 6 times (according to the article) by this merciless man while the sahabats and him were about to perform Subuh (fajr/early in the morning) prayer. But the stabs didn’t stop them to perform the prayer at all, he even asked one of the jemaahs there to be imam, replacing him because he was wounded and bleeding. As the finished their prayer and rushed towards him, the first question that Umar asked to them was “have you finished performing your prayer”? that was the part my tears curb broken down, and there was waterfall overflowing my cheeks. I meant, seriously? So there, we can see the difference of our iman/faith right? And that is something I have to work on very hard and smart on. I told this story right before we had our break-fast, and being me who owns iman as thin as onion skin, (iman senipis kulit bawang),  I just simply finished my pizza, soup and coffee and talked daa daa daa before going up to perform my maghrib prayer. Yes, that was not something that I proud of but hopefully together we work on our solah/prayer all right.


So that’s it. Good night.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Real Deal

One of the reasons I venture into blogging because I used to/still love writing too much and find it too hard to resist. And I’m the type who likes sharing this and that, especially songs/movies/quotes that I think are beneficial and inspired. That is why you can find  a lot of lyrics and and movies promotion in my blog.

Besides that, I love the idea of good writing and hopefully by time my writing skills will get better eventually. There are times when the obscure vibes is all around, and you can write so well, very well until you don’t even know when and where to stop. Every word falls into places and there it is, a very beautiful essay to be read. Satisfaction, which would describe it all.

These days, I’m dealing with the real deals. I’m a grown up now and like most grown-ups, I do carry my very own responsibilities. This is not the phase of which I just have to wait for people to tell me what to read, what to do and such. This is not the phase of passing an exam, or where the teachers have to give you all the spotted questions. At this phase, I’m left with not so many choices unlike the old time when I was in high school of when Biology was not a favourite and I could neglect it because I did have physics to back me up. I meant, I wanted to opt for engineering, anyway. For the time being, I’m given one and only card. If I pass this one, then I know I will go to a better phase. I’m quite surprise I took a while to realize all of this. It’s better late than never, right.


Along the way you apprehend that your perspective changes every now and then. The one thing that used to be so important to us last year, might be something that we don’t even want or need now. The essence of this is to accept changes and learn as much as we can in whatever phase we are in, whether we like it or not because god puts us there for a reason. Yeah, I know easy said than done because I’m too struggling every bone and willpower in my body and soul to get through hurdles that keep coming in my way every so often. There’s always a bright light after the darkest hour.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Just because?

I missed out one important point from previous entry. As much as kids do need attention and love, so do ourselves. Well, i have been neglecting that fact for quite some time since i was so busy loving people around (heh??),  and the thought just hit me. I should love myself too, pay full attention to what i need and build the courage to walk away from some things or some one, in that sense.

Walk away from anger.
Walk away from things that pull us down.

The inertia might be huge, but it's formulated already that it can be overcame. So much of physics. And i do sound a tad like a motivational speaker in the book. Lol. But, you get my point right?

Today was okay. I meant, woke up with two sleepy eyes was not a very happy way to start a day. I practically drag along the whole day. My officemates who sit near to me are awesome. I shall tell my kids one day about funny stories that they told this noon. Serius lawak kuasa sepuluh juta. All in all, dont judge a book by its cover.

Selamat berpuasa esok.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

7th Ramadhan recap.

There were few kids around at the surau downstairs just now. They were about 8-9 years old. Very petite and cute. I kept asking my friend if we were that small when we were their age. Well, that’s not the whole point, really. Out of nowhere, I felt touched to see them. I was a kid, too, the one who pestered around my mother, father, grandmother and late grandfather around. When I see those eyes, I wonder if they do get the fatherly love from the first two important men in a girl’s world– the father and grandfather. I hope they do. Kids deserved to be loved and cared and paid the huge amount of attention.

Al-fatihah to my late Wan. I miss him so much especially since Ramadhan is here.


I miss you. thank you for being such a great person in my life.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Still water

Soothing and refreshing.

That’s how I will remember you by, until the next day I shall say hello to you again. Seeing you for the first time was like diving in love, hard. You captivated at the very first glance with those beautiful views that I keep on dreaming at night, wishing I could spend more time with you.
Alps. That is how I remember you by.

Life has not been easy lately. I can say that I am emotionally disturbed by works which I don’t favour doing, but I have to do for the sake of earning some money. Without sincerity, almost everything is a blurry image. And being someone who is constantly reminded of the importance of sincerity, on how we are temporarily living in this world and all our deeds will be questioned later on; in front of the One and Only makes that fuzzy image becomes clearer and unblemished.

Things will get better. They just do.

It’s just plain ungrateful to give up on tiny things when we already see big things like the Alps. That is my personal view on it. It is just so big, covered with snow all year long and looking directly the magnificent beauty of that kind evaporates all my doubts. As if like all the impossible things are possible and we don’t have the right and can’t give up, no matter how hopeless the situation is. So I tell myself over and over again, that things will get better.
my personal favourite :)


I like the idea of “cave-in” whenever we do have problems. That makes me think and evaluate our own actions without interference of others. And when we are ready to talk about it, then we can discuss our views about it and maybe share the lessons too. I don’t know. I think I am becoming more introspective or it’s just my judgement. All in all, from what I’ve learnt thus far, your opinion about yourself matters, first and foremost.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Life as it is

Deep down, i know i am a go-getter. 8 just have to find the right passion to go-get with. Thats what i always thought back then.

Recently, i stumbled onto an article about amanah (responsibility) and it kept me thinking hard. All this while, we always focus to be good and maybe the best at what we wanna do, not what we are given to do. However, we dont always get things that we think best for us. Al-Baqarah 216 (alquran) can attest to my claim. Allah knows best. He knows what is the best for us at that particular time. It doesn't mean you and i are going to stuck at the point which we dont like forever.

Subhanallah
Alhamdulillah
Allahuakbar

I do truly hope and wanna be efforts to be better each day, to strive for jannah with the reminder in mind we'll be facing Allah on the day of judgement.

Ameen...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Venezia-the romantic city by the sea.

Hello.

As i am writing this entry, i'm currently waiting for my salmon fillet (nyummeh!) with my sister, overlooking Grande Canal. such a fantastic view. You know you are in a love city when they do sell bouquet of roses everywhere and there are lots of couple to be seen. Hence, insyaAllah given the chance in the future, i definitely will come visit this city again with my other half. ♥

Venice is not quiet at all which i like still. We started the morning with breakfast at the near cafe to our hotel. The cream croissant was delicious, unlike i never tasted before.

I think i wont forget the feeling of strolling along the canal with my sister, passing through the stalls, trying avoiding dogs everytime we see one along the hallway. We even lost for a while bcause we do walk without maps. But still, it is such a beautiful scenery and experience.

Oh by the way, i stumbled upon the most handsome guy here in Venice. I swore if i were to see him again, i will ask for his number.

What else. Oh yea, we had dinner by the cannal and run along to catch the sunset. I am not really into my cryptic vibes thus i shall stop writing. Till we meet again ;)

Paris: hello love. Hello Eiffel

June 9th.

It was early in the morning as we started our journey from Warwick to London to catch the train to Paris. I was very excited to see what Paris had to offer. The journey from London to Paris took about 3 hours and finally we reached there.

As we stepped outside from the train station, I gulped.

"This is Paris, baby" i whispered to myself.

Paris has always been in my list as one of must-see places if I ever got the chance. With the fact that i learnt french for almost 4 years in high school and how my frech teacher used to tell us stories about Paris are one of the main reasons i've wanted to be there. To at least see the place. Alhamdulillah. Allah made it possible for me.

I felt very "tourist" when i had to pull our trolley bags around the city just to find our hotel. I have no idea that the streets could be so difficult to decipher. With very little frech words that i can still remember, i tried to string the words into one sentence;asking around for direction. It was very tiring but mind you, very much exciting. After half an hour or so, we found the hotel-checked in-off we went to the city.

The Lourve was our first destination. Pictures were taken like crazy outside the museum. I was unsure at first of purchasing ticket to meet La Jaconde (Monalisa) then finally decided to go into the museums and absorb all the paintings especially the star of the day-Monalisa. There were a lot of paintings, nude paintings and sculptures to be specific. We were joking around the painting but worries not, i actually enjoyed at the whole tour. Maybe i am ancient at heart. No wonder i love old building.

Walking around Paris in the cold is something i will not foget for the rest of my life. Have you seen Inception? We actually walked around the route. It was not that the scenery thst is very much breathtaking or what, its just the feeling and satisfaction to actually do what i always wanted to do-strolling along the road in Paris. I practically dragged my sister to follow me because she is not very fond of walking. Weehuuu.. we planned to stay there a bit longer as i wanted to wait till dark just to see the beautiful Eiffel Tower flashing its beauty. We bought the ticket to the top of the tower and up up we went to the top. Basically there are two stations. Depending on you which one do you want. The lift stopped at the first station, and as soon as we stepped outside it wss freezing cold. The chill air slapped my face. It was nice though, trust me.

We were on top of Eiffel for like 2 hours or so till dark. It was almost 10 pm the moment we stepped down. Since the summer is here, it was barely dark. All on all, there is more than meets the eyes of Eiffel Tower. I dont know about you, but i felt just glad, very glad actually to finally be on top of the tower which I treasure it very much. Alhamdulillah.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

keroncong untuk Ana



I have always wanted to blog about this song; this version of Keroncong Untuk Ana.

so tonight, i will.

I remember the first time I listened to it, years ago and thought to myself,

"what a beautiful song with melancholy lyrics."

it's definitely a sad song, really. given the right mood and right time to be deep, this one can burn down the curb of my tears. Adam AF2 didn't do any justice to this song during one of the concerts, the memory which is still fresh in my mind.

i seriously love the starting of this live version. seribu kali suka!


Run.

The smell of fresh baked croissant, fresh from the oven makes me happy.

Just like Run by Snow Patrol. It makes me wanna fly high, remind me that there’s always another version of me and somewhere in near or distant future, things will get better.


This is not the first time I write about Run just like Littlest Things or Yellow or Drops of Jupiter. They do have this one superlative and hypnotic effect on me. Maybe, I’m just sentimentally and emotionally connected in some weird ways to these songs.

The real question is,

how far can you run away?

Friday, June 28, 2013

today and all in it :)

Describe today in one word.

hurm.. i would say; today is more than okay. today is great, actually.

started the day with spilled coffee on my mustard blouse. thus, coffee odor was my fragrance for the whole day. nevertheless, not even that could spoil my good mood, all those positive vibes all around. :)

it has been months since the last time i hit the squash ball to the wall. hey, the squash ball was not made to sit idly in my locker, untouched. hence, i buzzed all of my friends that i think would like to play squash with me. Please let me know if you want to.

what else?

i'm contemplating whether the previous 2 posts is a subject to deletion or otherwise but i think it better stays there, so in the future, i might be laughing when re-read the so-called angry post; Fundamental of Economics. Dude, the hatred does not last, really. I just put a thick line between us, as a precaution. :) some things are better left broken or in my case, left behind.

I could not thank more to few friends that have been a powerful support system throughout. Really, Thank you very much.

Hopefully, tomorrow is as great as today. InsyaAllah.

take-away for today:
1. The powerful of Doa.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

JT



Erghhhh! Aah, biggest crush, eye candy ever. Biel (or Mrs Timberlake) is one lucky woman!

Drops of Jupiter

Sunday morning;office;alone.

Gathering ideas for PPA writing. I don't like it much but the need to do and complete it is crucial.

listening to one of the best songs ever; Drops of Jupiter.

i feel home.

i'm just lost in the lyrics just like the first time i listened to it years ago.
so yeah, i wanna be that girl. 

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Yes, the wind did sweep me off my feet.
Yes, i did dance along the light of day
Nope, i didnt go back to the milky way
Nope, Mars blew my mind
Yes, that was everything i wanted to find
I'm still looking for myself and yes i do miss a good friend like you while wondering around the galaxy.

hehs!

Fundamentals of economics.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.

Damn.

I know i am too wise to come out with emotional turmoil post. Wise? Yucks. I dont feel near the postcode zone of wise right now. I choose not to. Hence, this entry.

I browsed thru my old posts in blogspot and tumblr. I saw a lot of eiffel Tower pictures, referring to my tumblr posts. That showed how much i wanted to be there and i made it. So you see? I am that kind of girl. The kind of which when i decided my mind on something, i keep thinking about it and deeply have the urge to have no matter how long it takes. But, bear in mind-that does not happen in every aspect of my life, it happened randomly and sometimes my mind set on stupid things that i hardly enough to let go.

Stupidity.

Like right now, i could not believe after a long hours of sleep last night, i woke up with clouded mind with of course the clouded judgement. I felt angry for everything that you have done. That was not sadness anymore but rage. I hate the way you used to look at me and how you spoke. I hate it badly now. I hate the fact that i ever had dreams to stroll along the beach with you, to beat you in games. I hate the fact that i wrote your name in the front page of my favourite books, hoping you would read that book one fine day somewhere in the future. It hurts me much on how you used to joke around that lifted me up on the cloud 9 only later to dive nose first to the ground. I hate the fact you never bothered to care about my feelings. I hate you so much that i cant possibly breathe. All in all i hate you. Really dude. I hate you.

Now i know that if you really care you would not do the things what you have done. If you are a bigger person, you would not play around with my feelings with the assumption i would easily cope just because you see me "fun" on the outside. What really makes me angry is; i dont think you really think of me as a friend. You just didn't care, do you? That saddens me to the core. Even if we dont like something, we dont treat them like rubbish. You should not treat me or any of your friend like that. You know that hurts especially when you knew you meant half of the world for them ( for me). The one that you treated like that might be the one who includes you in their du'a, struggling hard to move on when certain people looked down on them (me) for being naive and stupid to fall for a guy like you until at a point they (me) dont bother to talk about it and bottle up everything inside, unsettling. So you see. I have the solid reason to hate you.

Nevetheless,

I am finding and looking at every corner  for tiny bits reasons not to hate you. Firstly, hatred is negative. I do not want to be stupid enough to bottle up negativity in me. Secondly, this is a phase and this too shall pass. And there is no need to cultivate te hatred towards you because it brings me nowhere but bitterness. Thirdly, because you are my friend. Eventho the way you treated me otherwise, i am firm believer in giving is better. Unlike you, i will not treat you like rubbish, toying around with peoples feelings with the assumption she or he does not care because she or he is a carefree and naive person.

In conclusion, this is what i gathered within me somewhere along the train journey from Swiss to Italy maybe. I had a long thoughts on this matter that kept bothering me and i seemed not to fully let go eventho i decided earlier in May. I hate leaving things unsettling especially when my emotion is at stake, hence the thinking. I guess i never really accepted what you did and kept telling myself that it was ok while it was not.

For me, it was not okay on how you behaved.
For me, it was not okay leading than leaving me hanging.
For me, what you did made me feel like rubbish.

Thus, i figured, the cure is to forgive you, and reminding myself that i forgave you when devils whispers to hate you.

Thus, i figured it is best to forgive myself. Tango takes two to dance. What happened was half of my faults.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

wooosh

if i were to blog, then i would have to blog about my trips to Paris, Interlaken, Venice, Rome and few cities in the UK for the past 2 weeks. However, i am just plain lazy to write about all of it on one go, i shall have to allocate certain hours from the 24 i've been given daily for each trip. just you wait. don't you give up on me. i will not promise, i'll make it happen instead.

my biological clock is still in haywire mode. it's past my bedtime and i'm still wide awake, listening to one of my oldest favourite songs- Keroncong untuk Ana and Mustika. Ancient! i like both lyrics; deep and meaningful.

you know what? i used to love reading so much. like much. the kind of "much" where you could see me holding books and read in front of tv, or my bag would be as heavy like carrying stones because there were at least 2 books in it. if you read about my previous post, you shall know how i would start reading 2 books simultaneously so i won't get bored by only focusing in one book. I'm weird like that, i guess. well, everyone is weird in their own way or should rephrase it, everyone is special in their own way.

I'm off work for 18 days was such a bliss. Hopefully, a fresh start for tomorrow. InsyaAllah.

Let me list down a few points that frequently flying in my mind right now.

1. Strolling along the Grand Canal, watching sunset was definitely a must-do when I go there once again.
2. That won't be the last time I visited Interlaken. I will definitely go there again, someday, with the loved ones and I think everyone should put that in their dream place to go for.
while we were on the tram going up to Jungfrou - Top of Alps; my sister mentioned about one of the ways to be closer to God is by seeing the beauty of all of his creation. again, i emphasize Interlaken is just beautiful, like really beautiful. it's so beautiful and i could cry because of it. I pray all of us will find and always stumble upon the beautiful spot. there's always beauty in this world. hence, never give up.


okay for now. i need to get my beauty sleep. tata everyone :)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Lewat petang semalam

Sorry. I promised an entry for each place i visited in the uk. I will update more about my visit ti Oxford and Birmigham.

Words cant describe how beautiful summer is. No, its not hot at all. At least for me. The pang of windy chill air would greet my cheeks everytime i walk out. For someone who likes walking so much like yours truly, Coventry is such a place to walk. Like yesterday, i walked for 3 hours around Warwick near my sister's uni. It was a sunny day, good day to walk. With fresh air to breathe in, you know you are fine.

Cantik kan?

Nope i dont miss hometown at all. At least for now :)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Coventry: beautiful as it seems.

Coventry is a quite place which is very suitable for mind-relaxing.

my sister went off for her exam this morning. i would love to take a stroll around campus but put off the thought since i think it's better off for me to sort out plans for our Euro Trip. I can't wait to see Alps. really.

We had heave dinner last night. Chicken Beriyani from a Pakistani restaurant. I'm not sure whether it's just me who were famish like crazy or the taste of that beriani was so freaking terribly good. Like seriously. Trust me, that is coming from a curry lover like yours truly.

so when they say, UK is beautiful, that is really not a overstated statement. Coming from somewhere like Kuala Lumpur with massive heavy traffic and polluted air, that made me realize how wonderful it is to actually live here like my sister,Ayuni. She said I was saying that because I've just got here, eventually maybe I would get bored. We'll see how. InsyaAllah, if that opportunity comes, then I'll choose London. I crave for a big city to live in. We'll see how it goes.

Frankly, 2 weeks before I got here, there were a lot of things happened in my sweet little life. I cried buckets when a pang of sudden realization hit me right at the face-my current job. I knew I have some fair portion of whining on it, that what makes me sad really. Instead of doing something about it, once in a while I whine. That, won't solve the problem and showed how immature I am for a 25 year-old. My emotional department has also became haywire once in a while. It's never really easy to get over someone even with hundreds tonnes of persuasion and rationalization you input into your brain. The thing is, time still plays a very important role and this phase at times driving me nuts. However, it gets better. :) I had good discussion with a few friends, some close to me, some who are not really but with good opinions on this matter; hence, I came out with a conclusion that sometimes pain can be self-inflicted. I think we always know what we have to do to make things better, but we always succumb to our emotion. maybe it's not you but it what happens to me :). I noticed that and I'll make things better.

During the saddest and bleakest moment, i whatsapp-ed a friend of mine saying;
Where will I go from here...

and he replied;
Pergi bercuti and have fun.

Dude, you have no idea how low I felt at that particular point of time, but your reply really did make me feel
"yeah..why should I dig in sorrow when I'll be leaving for UK in a couple of days". I'm not usually okay with logical answer in this kind of situation, but I think that's the best answer you can give to a friend whose judgement is clouded by irrelevant thoughts, like I did. so thank you, you!