My mother is one of the coolest people I’ve ever known in my
entire life. My father might kill me for this statement but sorry abah, even
you is not cool like mom. Hehe..peace.
I can talk for hours with her, about almost everything. That
includes; crush/potential boyfriends. I don’t like keeping my emotion bottled
up inside especially whenever I had rough days. After all, she’s just a phone
call away evethough we’re physically miles away.
Tonight I realized that I’ve been away from home since I was
13. Since my birthday is on October, basically I left home when I was 12. For the
first few months were the toughest time of my life in boarding school. I cried
almost every night, alone. This is the thing. If you are a happy person, easily
amused and laugh for not so funny jokes, you prefer to cry alone rather than
show it to others. I’ve read it somewhere. I’m not a cry baby but lets be
honest, people do cry sometimes. We cry when we sad or disappoint and sometimes
because we feel so grateful. That’s what people do – cry when they need to.
So here’s the thing about my mother. I’m very close to her. I
think in her eyes, I’m still 10 although I know I don’t even look like one. But
regardless how difficult my life at some point (frankly, I couldn’t quite figure
why I’m so emotional at times and felt life is difficult when it actually not a
biggie) I never cried to her. Maybe because I have this level of reserved ego,
or maybe I just have this tendency not to share my sadness with others. There’s
nothing fun grieving on problems. Talking about/grieving about problems are two
distinctly different things you know. You’d better define it correctly or
people will eventually get bored listening to your ranting. For god sake,
people can just listen; they can’t do anything about it. It’s you who decides. The
power is in your hand. But I know, it feels nice to vent out about worries to
others. I’m a girl. I know how does it feel and work. We like to complicate
simple things. Well, that’s normal.
I’m learning and still absorbing the fact that my decisions
or plans are not always right and the best. Experiences tend to prove this
theory. At first I thought, my lack of judgement incurred all of this
dissatisfaction. Then, I learn about the fact everything happens for reasons. Not
because Allah doesn’t love or abandon us, but it’s one way to teach me a very
good lesson and proof what’s been said in Quran is true ; An-Nisa’;19. (it may
be you dislike a thing but Allah brings through it a great deal of good). Lets hold on to that and become a better muslim.
Off the record, for now, I dislike excel. Yeah, that Microsoft excel. But through
it there’s gonna be good thing for me. insyaAllah.
