Bismillah..
Lately I’ve found myself occupied with many other things,
hence the shortage of time to write. I mean, to really write instead of just
posting a few quickies from copy-paste interesting stories that I’ve found from
internet.
This morning, I decided to spare sometime to write on
something that I think worth sharing.
Firstly, it’d be very nice if you could read through this
article. It’s true indeed.
TV plays an important role in shaping our mind, without we
even realized it. Without I even realized it. Believe it or not, I used to
believe that true love is the kind of love I saw in hindi movies. Oh yes, I am
from the era when hindi movies overflowing our entertainment industry. As the time
passed by, I’ve found reading, and then my perception of love changed accordingly
to the books I’ve read. So you see, what we see, read, hear (through songs)
indirectly shape our mind and how we look at things.
I am blessed to feel this so-called love myself. Really. But
the thing is, it’s not really “love” after all. I felt miserable and down
whenever the thought of him struck my mind. Maybe it’s due to the one-sided
love that I felt hence I couldn't focus. He is the kind of guy that I thought
was ideal to be a boyfriend or even a husband. However, we have to bear in
mind, just like as we learnt in physics or chemistry, ideal doesn’t mean real.
Ideal is based on our interpretation which is humanly and more often than not
is wrong. From there I knew that I built up false interpretation of
love. When the love was not there anymore, what’s left was obsession and urge
to have it. To have him. I forgot for a while that he is human being with
feeling. Not an expensive desk or chair or perfume that I could work hard for
and keep for the rest of my life. The constant calls that sometimes he would
not pick up or instant messages that he would not reply were stupod thing to do yet proved how hard I
tried. Along the way, I also lost him as a friend he once was.
Alhamdulillah,
reading helped me a lot, in many ways. And time, too, played a very important
factor to actually reshape my mental attitude towards love. I soon realized all the
pain was my own self-inflicted. I could walk away from that.
It was a huge
struggle to get rid of the urge of wanting to have and keep him. I could say
that was one of my biggest struggles I’ve encountered so far. I know it might
be insignificant to some, but surely not for me. Alhamdulillah, I’ve finally
find a way to let go and move on.
You know sometimes in life, we don’t really see beyond of
what happen. Allah knows and even mentioned in the Quran. This kind of
experience is also actually a helping hand for me to fully understand and apply
the meaning of tawakkal and redha which I would say two simple words with great
depth of meaning and not that easy to apply. When we lost something, it will be
replaced with something better.InsyaAllah. Deep in myself, I knew I wasn't really scoring with flying colours, but looking back how my opinions towords this issue changed from the past years, I think I did not fail and InsyaAllah there's a huge room for improvement.
When there's no more love to offer, as a friend, prayers are all I have to replace. Insyaa Allah.
