this kind of thing.

What would I do when I wake up in the morning and realize things were not how they are supposed to be, in my term?

Would I cry? Would I scream?

What would I do?

I woke up this morning with the same feeling I wake up with since the past few months. It was occasional, of course, but it surely there. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. But I smiled instead. Staring myself at the mirror with a smile on my face. A sincere smile at that.

No one ever guarantees that life would be easy or should be, at that. we go through life with different options, expectation and hope. Now, the secret is to balance the hope so it won’t be high enough which eventually will make you suffer when you dive to the ground or maybe the same hope shattered down to pieces. After all, whatever sadness, emotional turmoil that we are experiencing is nothing less just a feeling. They all shall pass. it’s actually a good thing really- to be stumbled once in a while so I can check and evaluate myself. No one is perfect, and the point of perfection can never be reached hence the room for improvement is always open for us.  

And as for now, at this moment and time, I’m still searching in one aspect that will complete me. Detaching has never really been easy for me, I will try harder for it, for it brings so much to learn from.

Till then!

The beauty of silent.

There will come a point where we learn to listen more, talk less. For some, this kind of trait resides in them since forever, and  for the rest they'll come to that when there is a change of perspective or maybe never.

I find it funny, really.

I used to talk a lot about things i like or love to a lot of people. Even, with acquintances without considering the fact that i actually steal their time mostly with some boring topics. Along the way, i find it best to cave in once in a while and pick the listener. No, it does not mean if i dont tell you i dont trust you. It's more like, i just value the privacy even more, or i am teaching myself to conceal certain thoughts that is jittery and worthless of mentioning.

Because sometimes, we never were completely honest when we voice out the opinions yet it reached to others with different meaning.

And sometimes, we just dont want people to remind us of something that is worthless remembering.

And maybe, too, this is one of aging process. :)

dust.

The person who was just randomly introduced to you, years ago, could be the one who made your heart skipped a beat early in the morning and already made up your day when truth was, it was just a beginning.

Like thunders, the pieces fall gracefully into a bigger picture of a life puzzle, composing the larger view for your own reflection. It is how it is. You love who you love. There’s no more withholding when it comes to this. When you stopped brooding over “what-might-have-been”s with some specific people or maybe some things and you’ll find peace at heart.

And I have loved you. It might not be till the end of time, but I once did. Infrequently, I ask myself if I still do. Truth is, it’s just a feeling. Like wind, it blows away if it’s not meant to be. insyaaAllah.