Looking at this photo caused the lump in my throat and the
post-effect after looking at it is the teary eyes. The picture is not
yellowish, but the later sentence is true. To realize that the old man in the
photo is no longer around somehow triggered a few thoughts.
There’s no such thing as perfect love or perfect man in this
world except for Rasulullah SAW, but in the little world of my own, he was and
his love is beyond perfect for me. Really.
I realized he must be very special in my life because even
the sight of his baju melayu managed to make me cry until now. It’s been 10
years since the last time he kissed my forehead.
How can I ever give up teh ais when we used to spend
evenings together with it.
Until now, I’m blessed to witness a few solemnization; be it
friends or close relatives. And the first thought crossed my mind would be he
wouldn’t be there when my dad hands me over to my future husband. I’d say that
is the saddest thought ever.
There is graduation picture of me getting the scroll from
Tun Mahathir on my wall. Sometimes, I wonder it’d be better if he could be
there too. I long to see him alive in one of my graduation pictures. I know it’s
not right to think such way.
I wonder how I can love that much and it saddens me to think
that he loved me much more. I’m afraid if my prayers never reached him due to
my weaknesses as a muslimah. If that so, how would I ever repay all, I mean all
that he had done for me. hence, I’m trying to be a better muslimah. I’m taking
baby steps towards it. Amiin.
I guess this is the genuine love we shared. Even though he’s
not around, the thought of him itself pulls me up and move me forward.
I am blessed. Alhamdulillah.
