Perempuan dan emosi

Perempuan.

Ada satu masa rasa macam nak telan semua. Meatball 40 biji pun boleh habis. Orang yang dia sayang rasa macam nak simpan dalam handbag bawak ke sana ke mari.

Tak relevan.

Funny. Sebab bila tiba masa itu, bila perasaan insecure dan bercelaru datang bertimpa-timpa, buntu jadinya.
Ada yang sanggup tengok movie yang sama kali ke3. Di platinum suites pulak tu. First time for everything.lepas ni akan fikir 100 kali untuk try lagi.

Walaupun hari ni kualitinya macam entah apa2, takut nak menjawab depan tuhan nanti, insyaAllah esok masih ada.

Dan, jarak yang aku cipta antara kita tu, terima kasih sebab kau mengerti. Tuhan saja yang boleh balas baik budi.

Hello Thursday

Stumble.

I am waiting for maybank to open. It's 944 in the morning already and i have lots of tedious stuff that i need to settle before venturing into holiday mode for 2 weeks. I think this is the longest annual leave i've taken so far since day 1 i started doing what i am doing now.

Let it remains unknown for the time being because the memories have yet to be moulded and i will definitely convey the tell tales in 20 days.

I have wstched fast and furious 6 twice already. The number might increase if we manage to secure tickets for gold class tonight. It's just freaking good. So good and i cant barely remember when was the last time i watch a movie that good.

I dont do the movie justice by my writing. Just have faith that it is good please. Will update later.

Mwahhhhxxx

Soaring high eagles

It all started 6 years ago. With a simple introduction from each and every of us that lead to campfire by the beach till wee hours, late night talks about life, die hard movie; we turned out to bond just like that.

And after 6 years, its still wondering me how in those 3 days, we actually found a friendship which the one that does not require constantly communication but when we meet once in a while, you know what to say, just click that way.

As for me, thats the beauty of it. A dream-like.

Soaring high eagles. Soar way way up higher.

Dont judge a book by its cover.

Dia gelak ketawa bersama teman teman. Mungkin ada yang memandang macam entah apa apa, tapi mana tahu orang yang kita rasa entah apa apa itu menangis dalam sujud waktu tahajjudnya.

Dia macam cool saja. Pakai tshirt jeans biasa, tak ada kopiah atas kepala.Tapi mana tahu quran tu tak pernah ditinggalnya. Hari hari dibaca.

Few events that occured recently have opened my eyes (maybe my heart too) indirectly. Dont judge a book by its cover, and i, dont have the single right to do that.

For me, for you.

Hot head, cold feet.

Kaki sejuk. Kepala panas.
Apa tandanya? Yes demam bakal melanda.

Ya Allah, tolong jauhkan demam itu please.

Lebih kurang lagi 8 kali putaran bumi, aku sampai ke satu destinasi hati. InsyaAllah. Nervous?

Yeap.

Kenapa?

Sebab itu semua pernah jadi satu mimpi,satu fantasi di malam hari. Masa menonton cinta antara benua, masa menonton letters to juliet masa menonton Lizzie McGuire.

Sesungguhnya, dari hati yang paling dalam saya sukakan kejutan. Really. Apa yang mulanya dirancang Disember, June datang menyapa dahulu. Subhanallah.

Belum lagi.

1. Capturing me jumping on helideck.
2. Watching sunrise and sunset, with vast big wide ocean in front of me. ( preferably with the ones that matter)
3. Wearing the yellow coverall, hands covered with muds, sweating.

For now, that is the list. I shall update you more.

Oh ya, doakan.

Something borrowed.

It's weird on thinking how you can miss something that is in front of you? How we can just let the time passes without fulfilling it with the worth thoughts or words or action.

Like now.

Having the presentation on economics, something about regulatory milestones; which my mind hard to absorb.

The thing is, i miss you. I miss the ideal dreams of catching sunset with you, strolling down the beach and cliff-jumping.

All in all, i just miss you.

Yellow.

Everything was yellow on that day. It was May 1st. I remember waking up with sore in my heart,thinking deeply "where would i go from here? How would i ever fall in love with anyone else but you?"
And right there and then, i already knew i asked myself the wrong question and i was about to repeat the same mistake i did not so long time ago. I was looping in the same scenario but only with different cool person.
So i got up from bed. I called my friend. I needed to get out from my shells. Instead of taking months like the first time, I prayed hard that i will pass this test with better grade than the last time. I prayed god will forgive all my mistakes and show me the path to see clearer and bigger picture of the situation. Eventually i did i still do. At this point, i realize that when god test us by taking off something or someone dear to our heart, He provide replacement with better ones. :))

Three points for you :)

1. Perkara yang kita perlu biasakan hari2 adalah zikir. Seriously, im teaching myself that now and it's actually so hard to do.

2. Spending habit. Its true that spending our money is therapy. However i have to say that it is not a very good one. If you compare between these two therapies of getting up during nights; performing tahajjud or shopping, the latter is easier to do but the former makes our heart grow fonder and promise more satisfaction. Being me, i think you can guess the answer. Lets together pray for a better me and you. InsyaAllah.

3. I pray everyday is like today which i am committed and happy. I woke up smiling like no one cares, singing in the shower and a cup of caffeine in the morning. I feel blessed.

Hows your day people. Be safe and good. :)

just a thought!

Sudut pandangan manusia terhadap sesuatu perkara memang berubah. kisahnya begini. 

lebih kurang 4 tahun lalu, aku ada membeli sebuah buku berkenaan hadis-hadis nabi. namun malangnya, buku tu tak pernah bersentuh atau dibaca since then! adalah beberapa page aku baca tapi pada waktu tu aku tak dapat nak terima huraian isi yang lebih kepada akhirat, dalam erti kata lain tak menyentuh sangat pasal dunia. itu pandangan aku pada waktu tu. hari ni, tergerak hati untuk capai atas saranan seorang teman. mulanya hanya untuk check hadis yang aku mahu tahu, tapi dari satu topik ke topik lain semakin menarik. mungkin penulisan tidak seberapa namun isinya ada. see, the way we see things do change! :) jadi memang benarlah, semua perkara yang ada di dunia ni tak ada yang kekal melainkan apa yang ada di sisi Allah sahaja. hmmm...

last week, aku ada discussion panjang dengan seorang kawan baik. funny, how people are actually not the way we think (judge). maksud aku, someone yang tak pernah strike to be close to you at the first glance can be someone you can rely on and exchange opinions. 

there's more than meets the eyes.

don't judge a book by its cover.

Umar bin Abdul Aziz berkata : “tiada ada sesuatu nikmat yang dikurniakan Allah SWT kepada seseorang, lalu diambil kembali nikmat tersebut sedangkan orang itu menerima takdir yang menimpa dirinya dengan sabar, melainkan Allah akan menggantikan yang lebih baik bagi dirinya.

Happy mothers day to all mothers in the world.

Anddddddddd, Happy Monday people!

pearls of the day

I talk to myself a lot now. I mean not like talking when no one is watching, but it's more like self-talk. let's recap good things i've learnt these past few days;

1. it's true. we don't need any shoulders to cry on once we cry alone to our Lord, preferably during we prostrate before Him in 5 times prayers and tahajjud.

2. Be patient. Be patient. because there's no limit to it. (Az-Zumar;10)

3. Read at least 5 sentences of quran translation each morning and reflect to our daily routine.

Rejab is here people. :)

daily work

It’s midnight.

It’s weekday.

And I’m still not sleeping, hence I can foresee at what time I’ll be waking up tomorrow. This is the only time I’ve got to blog after a long day at work.

I can barely functional at 5 PM, really. When I was in school, I wouldn’t study during that time because I had this mindset, telling me not to study after 5. Really. It’s the same when I started working and even to these days. So if you see me staring at my computer after 5, I am actually thinking on what to wear for my friend’s wedding that usually months away or which place to visit in Europe, or anything else but work. Hihi…

This has to stop. I mean wasting my time in front of the computer, so I decided to hit the gym or jog which mostly I only walk at the park. It’s very refreshing after a very long and tiring day. The clogged mind seems to lessen bit by bit and by the time I finish tawaf the park or do a bit of running, I definitely feel better. Alhamdulillah. Second option is to play squash. It’s good to have few colleagues that can play really well but now I’m left with none since one is pregnant, the other one is too busy and the rest seems less interested to play. Sob sob. “Dear Allah, please send me someone who can play squash really well so I can brush up my rusty skills and learn to play better. Amiiinn…”