when i see someone has successfully realized their dreams, i started to wonder, what is wrong with mine? why they are not becoming real? or at least the feeling that i got close to them. at least. and the moment i think of that, i should slap my face. hello, those twin buildings were once your dream. those talks were once your dream too. hence, stop complaining work harder. and thats what im gonna do.
something happened few years back. it was late at night. i was in need to find old clothes or maybe a torchlight. i went into tok's (nickie for grandparents) room and the sight og my grandfather's old blue baju melayu made me sit on the bed and cried. that was after five years he left us. five years. and still, the emptiness is still the same. the void is replaceable. he has not gone anywhere though. he just answered the creator's call. when we cry right there and then for a simple thing like the old blue baju melayu for example, i knew right away how lucky i was to have the chance to spend 15 years with him. that, is such a blessing. thank you Allah.
he used to ride me around. he used to send/fetch me to/from school. he used to tell me stories. and above all, he gave me my very first al-quran when i was a seven year old girl. what people say is true about how important a gift is. gifts should be selected. so that the one who receives it would always remember you and your values. And as for me, no matter how hard works could be, i know whenever i come back from home, there's the red quran on my bookshelf; reminds me Allah is there, and yeap, there was someone who is always there too eventhough he's so far away from my eyes. that is blessing. and blessing fuels me. so give up is really not an option.
