Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Daisiessssss!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
apa apa lah labu..
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
butterflies
Saturday, November 30, 2013
take five!
Friday, November 29, 2013
what makes you, you?
Monday, November 4, 2013
Of Paris!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
From Paris to KL
Sunday, October 20, 2013
beautiful wisdom.
1. “I do not have to settle.”
2. “I have great reasons to trust myself and the universe.”
3. “My weirdness is one of my greatest strengths.”
4. “I can continue to let my struggles open me, and not close me.”
5. “I am still here learning and trying, even after all my failures.”
6. “I am powerful simply because I am ALIVE right now.”
Sunday, October 13, 2013
A letter to you.
Friday, September 27, 2013
this kind of thing.
Friday, September 20, 2013
The beauty of silent.
There will come a point where we learn to listen more, talk less. For some, this kind of trait resides in them since forever, and for the rest they'll come to that when there is a change of perspective or maybe never.
I find it funny, really.
I used to talk a lot about things i like or love to a lot of people. Even, with acquintances without considering the fact that i actually steal their time mostly with some boring topics. Along the way, i find it best to cave in once in a while and pick the listener. No, it does not mean if i dont tell you i dont trust you. It's more like, i just value the privacy even more, or i am teaching myself to conceal certain thoughts that is jittery and worthless of mentioning.
Because sometimes, we never were completely honest when we voice out the opinions yet it reached to others with different meaning.
And sometimes, we just dont want people to remind us of something that is worthless remembering.
And maybe, too, this is one of aging process. :)
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
dust.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Of one tree hill
Scrolled down the tumblr posts made me want to run and rob kinokuniya. Really. Get myself a copy of of
Camus. Lucas had eloquently quoted him few times in one tree hill yet the urge to find out more of him was more or less none during that time. How lah when my eyes had only been fixed to Murray's sweetest smile. On a personal note, with all my heart, the deepest one at that;I did and still do like the opening of One tree hill for season 4. Heartbreakingly, melted each time. Each time.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
The new keypad!
Finally I can blog using this blogger aps really conveniently. Very good and I love this keypad. Now I just have to figure the auto-correct stuff. Heheeee.... The aps is SwiftKey, btw....
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Surah al-qasas
Surah Al-Qasas, Verse 50: فَإِن لَّمْ يَسْتَجِيبُوا لَكَ فَاعْلَمْ أَنَّمَا يَتَّبِعُونَ أَهْوَاءَهُمْ وَمَنْ أَضَلُّ مِمَّنِ اتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ بِغَيْرِ هُدًى مِّنَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الظَّالِمِينَ But if they answer you not (i.e. do not believe in your doctrine of Islamic Monotheism, nor follow you), then know that they only follow their own lusts. And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah? Verily! Allah guides not the people who are Zalimun (wrong-doers, disobedient to Allah, and polytheists).
(English - Mohsin Khan) via iQuran
Allah guides not the zalim people.
Zalim;cruel.
I understand that cruelty is not only between you and me but its also from within. Like if i starve myself for weeks for the purpose of diet, that is quite considered as cruelty to the body. It is amanah and it should be taken care of.
I know a lot of you girls (its more of a reminder for my own) wanna lose some weight after raya right, but lets also take the good diet k.
Night ;)
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Of lilies, peonies and roses
Flower
Is
Such
A
Beautiful
Thing
Pretty smile. :)
To be in all honesty, i am not a big fan of lililies. It was an immatured thought i had early this year when i woke up one fine morning and thought to myself
"Syazana Lilies Izzati..." is such a nice combo.
Smirks.
Therefore the renaming of almost every social network account i've owned since day 1. But really, deep down in my heart i adore roses. Yellow one!
Just that, peonies are also very attractive to my eyes these days.
I hope i wake up tomorrow with the thought
"I wanna get married... "
Heheeee.. itchy itchy mode activated. Gatal lah kau.
Err.. good night?
My pretty (in other word;swollen,black) eyes are hurt due to excessive reading done.
Phewwww
I've found newer site sanctuaries, the ones i believe are new bestfriends while waiting for the train or longggg traffic light moments. Im happy!
I shall pull down the curtain and sleep. Good night and enjoy the rest of the pictures ok.
Ps: yes.. the new blog is still there.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
hey hey you you
Thursday, August 8, 2013
selamat hari rayaaaa
tadi tak boleh open blogspot langsung. selamat dah create blog baru di wordpress. haihsss.
tapi sekarang boleh la pulak. aigoo
selamat hari raya semua orang.
hari ni malas gile nk berpuitis bermadah bagai. cukuplah sekadar wish ucapan selamat hari raya yang straight forward tu ok. anddddddddd sejak bila lah pulak blog ni dah jadi day to day life updates.
ahhh biarkan semua itu. aku perlukan sesuatu yang baru. :P
sukanya dalam hati mak masak nasi tomato. weeehuuuu
hajat di hati nk upload gambar hari raya tapi internet lembab macam siput ini tidak mengizinkan.
sorry naik lorry k.
till then!
Monday, August 5, 2013
dekat padamu
that was written on the pink sticky note pasted on my wall, back in UTP.
i just love that song. plus, jika kau tiada makes me smile all day.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Par-ghee.
And i miss Paris more than you can even imagine.
The coldness of the chill air left me spellbound with my very own thoughts.
I
Miss
Paris.
random #1
Sigh.
I’ve wanted to come out with a long entry in essay mode, the kind I can be totally guileless on the nubs of it and the kind I can convene all the beautiful floriated words together with their double meaning of sentences. yet I can’t seem to find the right time and ideas to write one, so please bear with me with my boring entry. Nevertheless, the urge to blog is excruciating, hence 2 entries in one night.
Okay, right now. I hate it when all of sudden I lost the train of thoughts that seemed to be so long a minute ago and left me with the unspoken words. That’s unfair for someone who wants to write that much like yours truly.
Oh, I had marvellous iftar(s) this week with different group of friends with very delicious food. Nyummeh. You have no idea how a get-together could mean so much when that is the only event we can actually sit and talk properly, besides work-related matter. So this to happen because most of the time, we encountered each other in the lifts where we don’t have much time to catch up and I hate small talks. So I would just randomly smile to the ex-classmates instead of exchanging life events updates. so yes, I’m all interested in the so-called reunion.
Talking about that, I’m also a flop when it comes to keeping in touch via messages or cards or whatever, nevertheless the ones who are close to me have never been slipped through my mind. I remember, I only suck in the gestures part. that, I will improve. (kot).
I’m pretty happy with my life the past couple of days because I’m not busy preparing the presentation packs anymore. So no more excel sheets, and going through project listing that I swear a chief stimulation for me to puke. I just don’t want to handle one more of that, for the time being. Ask me to do anything else but that. Hehe..
I’m in the middle of the deep ocean of thoughts, contemplating on abandoning the whole thing entirely and move somewhere else, or keep on trying then, this one sentence from the quran hit me hard “berapa banyak lagi nikmat tuhan kamu yang kamu mahu dustakan, amatlah sedikit kamu bersyukur”. Basically, that’s not exactly what has been said in the quran, but the gist and lessons of the ayat is there. I shall find the full translation, insyaAllah. But now, I’m leaving you with this first, for our own reflection, okay?
choose wisely
Sunday, July 28, 2013
iced mocha and baju bajan
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Randomness
One.
Cashier: raya nanti balik mana?
Me (in my heart):Rembau.
Me (words from my mouth): insyaAllah Kedah.
Haih! How could my inner self talks betrayed ny beloved hometown by answering Rembau. I knew no boy from Rembau, let alone to have a boyfie from there,at that. That was instinct or whatelse? Thus, i shall keep alert the next time i'm introduced to a handsome,tall lad whose hometown is Rembau. (Amboi,adjective tak nak kalah. Tolong aminkan please. Thankssss)
Two.
Today was..hurm.. a history. I reached super early at work with one and only intention to finish up the pack. Had sahur at the office and now i can officially say i satisfied with the work today eventho it's quite a full blast pressure for a day. One blessed,good thing for sure walking through of working experiences this year is: patience. I was/still am far away to master at it, but i'm surely one level higher. I do hope so. InsyaAllah.
Happy weekends everyone :))
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Morning talk.
Sorry folks. I just read my previous entries and there were like hundreds of unstructured words with the simplest grammatical errors all over them. Talking about securing an A for GCE paper seems a lie now. Haha.. nevertheless i do have the cerificate to assert the above claim ok. Just in case you wanna bring it up to court. Merepeklah syazana...
Anything to make me feel good for today because i have this presentation pack to finish and hopefully July 30th will come smoothly and steadily without the storms or emotional breakdown. God bless! Just in case it does happen, rest assured that i have your phone numbers to call you up anytime i feel like venting out pressure in my brain. You as in the beautiful abd handsome good friends, that is.
Birthday shout out to one of my collegues; happy belated birthday! Sweet 26th! Secretly i thanked him a lot for the talk that we had during dinner did really open up my views about relationship and such.ehehe.. Eventho i had to go thru in quite emotional rough patches for a strike of a bitter reality afterward, but i did it anyway. So thank you. I pray you are in Allah bless now and hereafter. Amiin...
Have a blessed day people. Stay beautiful and healthy!
thoughts for today :)
Monday, July 22, 2013
Real Deal
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Just because?
I missed out one important point from previous entry. As much as kids do need attention and love, so do ourselves. Well, i have been neglecting that fact for quite some time since i was so busy loving people around (heh??), and the thought just hit me. I should love myself too, pay full attention to what i need and build the courage to walk away from some things or some one, in that sense.
Walk away from anger.
Walk away from things that pull us down.
The inertia might be huge, but it's formulated already that it can be overcame. So much of physics. And i do sound a tad like a motivational speaker in the book. Lol. But, you get my point right?
Today was okay. I meant, woke up with two sleepy eyes was not a very happy way to start a day. I practically drag along the whole day. My officemates who sit near to me are awesome. I shall tell my kids one day about funny stories that they told this noon. Serius lawak kuasa sepuluh juta. All in all, dont judge a book by its cover.
Selamat berpuasa esok.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
7th Ramadhan recap.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Still water
my personal favourite :) |
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Life as it is
Deep down, i know i am a go-getter. 8 just have to find the right passion to go-get with. Thats what i always thought back then.
Recently, i stumbled onto an article about amanah (responsibility) and it kept me thinking hard. All this while, we always focus to be good and maybe the best at what we wanna do, not what we are given to do. However, we dont always get things that we think best for us. Al-Baqarah 216 (alquran) can attest to my claim. Allah knows best. He knows what is the best for us at that particular time. It doesn't mean you and i are going to stuck at the point which we dont like forever.
Subhanallah
Alhamdulillah
Allahuakbar
I do truly hope and wanna be efforts to be better each day, to strive for jannah with the reminder in mind we'll be facing Allah on the day of judgement.
Ameen...
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Venezia-the romantic city by the sea.
Hello.
As i am writing this entry, i'm currently waiting for my salmon fillet (nyummeh!) with my sister, overlooking Grande Canal. such a fantastic view. You know you are in a love city when they do sell bouquet of roses everywhere and there are lots of couple to be seen. Hence, insyaAllah given the chance in the future, i definitely will come visit this city again with my other half. ♥
Venice is not quiet at all which i like still. We started the morning with breakfast at the near cafe to our hotel. The cream croissant was delicious, unlike i never tasted before.
I think i wont forget the feeling of strolling along the canal with my sister, passing through the stalls, trying avoiding dogs everytime we see one along the hallway. We even lost for a while bcause we do walk without maps. But still, it is such a beautiful scenery and experience.
Oh by the way, i stumbled upon the most handsome guy here in Venice. I swore if i were to see him again, i will ask for his number.
What else. Oh yea, we had dinner by the cannal and run along to catch the sunset. I am not really into my cryptic vibes thus i shall stop writing. Till we meet again ;)
Paris: hello love. Hello Eiffel
June 9th.
It was early in the morning as we started our journey from Warwick to London to catch the train to Paris. I was very excited to see what Paris had to offer. The journey from London to Paris took about 3 hours and finally we reached there.
As we stepped outside from the train station, I gulped.
"This is Paris, baby" i whispered to myself.
Paris has always been in my list as one of must-see places if I ever got the chance. With the fact that i learnt french for almost 4 years in high school and how my frech teacher used to tell us stories about Paris are one of the main reasons i've wanted to be there. To at least see the place. Alhamdulillah. Allah made it possible for me.
I felt very "tourist" when i had to pull our trolley bags around the city just to find our hotel. I have no idea that the streets could be so difficult to decipher. With very little frech words that i can still remember, i tried to string the words into one sentence;asking around for direction. It was very tiring but mind you, very much exciting. After half an hour or so, we found the hotel-checked in-off we went to the city.
The Lourve was our first destination. Pictures were taken like crazy outside the museum. I was unsure at first of purchasing ticket to meet La Jaconde (Monalisa) then finally decided to go into the museums and absorb all the paintings especially the star of the day-Monalisa. There were a lot of paintings, nude paintings and sculptures to be specific. We were joking around the painting but worries not, i actually enjoyed at the whole tour. Maybe i am ancient at heart. No wonder i love old building.
Walking around Paris in the cold is something i will not foget for the rest of my life. Have you seen Inception? We actually walked around the route. It was not that the scenery thst is very much breathtaking or what, its just the feeling and satisfaction to actually do what i always wanted to do-strolling along the road in Paris. I practically dragged my sister to follow me because she is not very fond of walking. Weehuuu.. we planned to stay there a bit longer as i wanted to wait till dark just to see the beautiful Eiffel Tower flashing its beauty. We bought the ticket to the top of the tower and up up we went to the top. Basically there are two stations. Depending on you which one do you want. The lift stopped at the first station, and as soon as we stepped outside it wss freezing cold. The chill air slapped my face. It was nice though, trust me.
We were on top of Eiffel for like 2 hours or so till dark. It was almost 10 pm the moment we stepped down. Since the summer is here, it was barely dark. All on all, there is more than meets the eyes of Eiffel Tower. I dont know about you, but i felt just glad, very glad actually to finally be on top of the tower which I treasure it very much. Alhamdulillah.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
keroncong untuk Ana
I have always wanted to blog about this song; this version of Keroncong Untuk Ana.
so tonight, i will.
I remember the first time I listened to it, years ago and thought to myself,
"what a beautiful song with melancholy lyrics."
it's definitely a sad song, really. given the right mood and right time to be deep, this one can burn down the curb of my tears. Adam AF2 didn't do any justice to this song during one of the concerts, the memory which is still fresh in my mind.
i seriously love the starting of this live version. seribu kali suka!
Run.
Friday, June 28, 2013
today and all in it :)
hurm.. i would say; today is more than okay. today is great, actually.
started the day with spilled coffee on my mustard blouse. thus, coffee odor was my fragrance for the whole day. nevertheless, not even that could spoil my good mood, all those positive vibes all around. :)
it has been months since the last time i hit the squash ball to the wall. hey, the squash ball was not made to sit idly in my locker, untouched. hence, i buzzed all of my friends that i think would like to play squash with me. Please let me know if you want to.
what else?
i'm contemplating whether the previous 2 posts is a subject to deletion or otherwise but i think it better stays there, so in the future, i might be laughing when re-read the so-called angry post; Fundamental of Economics. Dude, the hatred does not last, really. I just put a thick line between us, as a precaution. :) some things are better left broken or in my case, left behind.
I could not thank more to few friends that have been a powerful support system throughout. Really, Thank you very much.
Hopefully, tomorrow is as great as today. InsyaAllah.
take-away for today:
1. The powerful of Doa.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Drops of Jupiter
Gathering ideas for PPA writing. I don't like it much but the need to do and complete it is crucial.
listening to one of the best songs ever; Drops of Jupiter.
i feel home.
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
Fundamentals of economics.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
Damn.
I know i am too wise to come out with emotional turmoil post. Wise? Yucks. I dont feel near the postcode zone of wise right now. I choose not to. Hence, this entry.
I browsed thru my old posts in blogspot and tumblr. I saw a lot of eiffel Tower pictures, referring to my tumblr posts. That showed how much i wanted to be there and i made it. So you see? I am that kind of girl. The kind of which when i decided my mind on something, i keep thinking about it and deeply have the urge to have no matter how long it takes. But, bear in mind-that does not happen in every aspect of my life, it happened randomly and sometimes my mind set on stupid things that i hardly enough to let go.
Stupidity.
Like right now, i could not believe after a long hours of sleep last night, i woke up with clouded mind with of course the clouded judgement. I felt angry for everything that you have done. That was not sadness anymore but rage. I hate the way you used to look at me and how you spoke. I hate it badly now. I hate the fact that i ever had dreams to stroll along the beach with you, to beat you in games. I hate the fact that i wrote your name in the front page of my favourite books, hoping you would read that book one fine day somewhere in the future. It hurts me much on how you used to joke around that lifted me up on the cloud 9 only later to dive nose first to the ground. I hate the fact you never bothered to care about my feelings. I hate you so much that i cant possibly breathe. All in all i hate you. Really dude. I hate you.
Now i know that if you really care you would not do the things what you have done. If you are a bigger person, you would not play around with my feelings with the assumption i would easily cope just because you see me "fun" on the outside. What really makes me angry is; i dont think you really think of me as a friend. You just didn't care, do you? That saddens me to the core. Even if we dont like something, we dont treat them like rubbish. You should not treat me or any of your friend like that. You know that hurts especially when you knew you meant half of the world for them ( for me). The one that you treated like that might be the one who includes you in their du'a, struggling hard to move on when certain people looked down on them (me) for being naive and stupid to fall for a guy like you until at a point they (me) dont bother to talk about it and bottle up everything inside, unsettling. So you see. I have the solid reason to hate you.
Nevetheless,
I am finding and looking at every corner for tiny bits reasons not to hate you. Firstly, hatred is negative. I do not want to be stupid enough to bottle up negativity in me. Secondly, this is a phase and this too shall pass. And there is no need to cultivate te hatred towards you because it brings me nowhere but bitterness. Thirdly, because you are my friend. Eventho the way you treated me otherwise, i am firm believer in giving is better. Unlike you, i will not treat you like rubbish, toying around with peoples feelings with the assumption she or he does not care because she or he is a carefree and naive person.
In conclusion, this is what i gathered within me somewhere along the train journey from Swiss to Italy maybe. I had a long thoughts on this matter that kept bothering me and i seemed not to fully let go eventho i decided earlier in May. I hate leaving things unsettling especially when my emotion is at stake, hence the thinking. I guess i never really accepted what you did and kept telling myself that it was ok while it was not.
For me, it was not okay on how you behaved.
For me, it was not okay leading than leaving me hanging.
For me, what you did made me feel like rubbish.
Thus, i figured, the cure is to forgive you, and reminding myself that i forgave you when devils whispers to hate you.
Thus, i figured it is best to forgive myself. Tango takes two to dance. What happened was half of my faults.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
wooosh
my biological clock is still in haywire mode. it's past my bedtime and i'm still wide awake, listening to one of my oldest favourite songs- Keroncong untuk Ana and Mustika. Ancient! i like both lyrics; deep and meaningful.
you know what? i used to love reading so much. like much. the kind of "much" where you could see me holding books and read in front of tv, or my bag would be as heavy like carrying stones because there were at least 2 books in it. if you read about my previous post, you shall know how i would start reading 2 books simultaneously so i won't get bored by only focusing in one book. I'm weird like that, i guess. well, everyone is weird in their own way or should rephrase it, everyone is special in their own way.
I'm off work for 18 days was such a bliss. Hopefully, a fresh start for tomorrow. InsyaAllah.
Let me list down a few points that frequently flying in my mind right now.
1. Strolling along the Grand Canal, watching sunset was definitely a must-do when I go there once again.
2. That won't be the last time I visited Interlaken. I will definitely go there again, someday, with the loved ones and I think everyone should put that in their dream place to go for.
while we were on the tram going up to Jungfrou - Top of Alps; my sister mentioned about one of the ways to be closer to God is by seeing the beauty of all of his creation. again, i emphasize Interlaken is just beautiful, like really beautiful. it's so beautiful and i could cry because of it. I pray all of us will find and always stumble upon the beautiful spot. there's always beauty in this world. hence, never give up.
okay for now. i need to get my beauty sleep. tata everyone :)
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Lewat petang semalam
Sorry. I promised an entry for each place i visited in the uk. I will update more about my visit ti Oxford and Birmigham.
Words cant describe how beautiful summer is. No, its not hot at all. At least for me. The pang of windy chill air would greet my cheeks everytime i walk out. For someone who likes walking so much like yours truly, Coventry is such a place to walk. Like yesterday, i walked for 3 hours around Warwick near my sister's uni. It was a sunny day, good day to walk. With fresh air to breathe in, you know you are fine.
Cantik kan?
Nope i dont miss hometown at all. At least for now :)
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Coventry: beautiful as it seems.
my sister went off for her exam this morning. i would love to take a stroll around campus but put off the thought since i think it's better off for me to sort out plans for our Euro Trip. I can't wait to see Alps. really.
We had heave dinner last night. Chicken Beriyani from a Pakistani restaurant. I'm not sure whether it's just me who were famish like crazy or the taste of that beriani was so freaking terribly good. Like seriously. Trust me, that is coming from a curry lover like yours truly.
so when they say, UK is beautiful, that is really not a overstated statement. Coming from somewhere like Kuala Lumpur with massive heavy traffic and polluted air, that made me realize how wonderful it is to actually live here like my sister,Ayuni. She said I was saying that because I've just got here, eventually maybe I would get bored. We'll see how. InsyaAllah, if that opportunity comes, then I'll choose London. I crave for a big city to live in. We'll see how it goes.
Frankly, 2 weeks before I got here, there were a lot of things happened in my sweet little life. I cried buckets when a pang of sudden realization hit me right at the face-my current job. I knew I have some fair portion of whining on it, that what makes me sad really. Instead of doing something about it, once in a while I whine. That, won't solve the problem and showed how immature I am for a 25 year-old. My emotional department has also became haywire once in a while. It's never really easy to get over someone even with hundreds tonnes of persuasion and rationalization you input into your brain. The thing is, time still plays a very important role and this phase at times driving me nuts. However, it gets better. :) I had good discussion with a few friends, some close to me, some who are not really but with good opinions on this matter; hence, I came out with a conclusion that sometimes pain can be self-inflicted. I think we always know what we have to do to make things better, but we always succumb to our emotion. maybe it's not you but it what happens to me :). I noticed that and I'll make things better.
During the saddest and bleakest moment, i whatsapp-ed a friend of mine saying;
Where will I go from here...
and he replied;
Pergi bercuti and have fun.
Dude, you have no idea how low I felt at that particular point of time, but your reply really did make me feel
"yeah..why should I dig in sorrow when I'll be leaving for UK in a couple of days". I'm not usually okay with logical answer in this kind of situation, but I think that's the best answer you can give to a friend whose judgement is clouded by irrelevant thoughts, like I did. so thank you, you!